How to have a great party experience?

1984today · 2015-06-27T06:54:26+00:00

Just my two cents! No doubt others have vastly differing opinions and you need to read widely, and experience things for yourself to discover what works for you.

First off drop the words 'bitch' and the phrase 'no homo' from your vocab straight away and your situation will improve enormously. Both of those are offensive and frankly childlike. You sound very young for second year college but this is easily rectified. People love being around confident people who are happy within their own skin. Fair enough you look back on your old self and you want to improve - that's great! What is not great is referring to yourself as a bitch or debasing yourself. Everyone gets nervous the first time dancing with a girl but the important thing is to have fun and read her signals. If she is indicating that she doesn't want you in her space - move away. Never take this badly or sulk. Everyone has a right to their own choices and opinions. Personally the best thing that works for me is to dance in my own space and never give the impression that I am seeking validation from anyone and just have a good time. If I meet someone then cool! If not I still burnt a hell of a lot of calories dancing like a madman and had a great time. Making new friends is easy as long as you are prepared to ask questions and listen to what is being said and follow this up with more relevant questions AND your own opinion. Engage people in active conversation. People rarely converse anymore and if you can bring that to the table then you will make friends in no time. Get into interesting territory, if they say something you disagree with then let them know! Don't be confrontational but push a little and see if they can back up what they are saying. Nobody wants a nodding head 24/7 and a lot of people want a good debate over things. Other than that just enjoy yourself and never, ever try too hard to 'crush the inner beta' because it can be seen a mile off. Know your strengths. Know your weaknesses. Know yourself. Move forward with confidence and everything will follow naturally.

Mrbumby · 2015-06-27T20:14:17+00:00

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chiliehead · 2015-06-27T08:55:48+00:00

Even though reading material is not a cure all and taking action is most important. But my recommendations are:

the sidebar
some top posts
search for "how to kiss", "how to dance" there are great guides on reddit
"How to win friends and influence people"
"Models"
for your situation: "Conquer your campus"

If you don´t want to spend money on the books, torrent them and buy them if you liked them (I think that´s the fairest approach).

Don´t feel bad about yourself, most of us started without any clue and it´s a constant battle against odds, self-improvement is a jouney that never ends.

Your mindset has to be to just be there and have fun, "present to the moment". RSD Tyler is pretty good on inner game I think. Just chat anybody up, dudes, fat chicks, hot chicks.

Most of it is the vibe. "I could be at home playing video games" are my thoughts sometimes, almost always before finding this sub. Socialising is always worth it, even as an introvert. Crack a joke or do something silly and just get in the mood.

If you don´t drink, smoke, take drugs etc. don´t be a bitch about it. Just decline politely and be as loose as everyone who´s consuming. You don´t need drugs for fun, but don´t argue with people who take stuff. If you drink etc. keep to a healthy limit. Yeah, it´s difficult but just try to make every second drink non-alcoholic, mix stuff lighter etc., prevents hangovers.

Be a leader. It´s quite easy. Initiate a drinking game or a general party game, pull people (easy to escalate with girls) in the activity, project a good vibe. If you´re sober, be the guy who drives for midnight snacks, people love that guy if he acts cool about it. Take a girl on the ride, super easy isolation.

Be the heart of the party. You talk with someone and this person has the same interest as another person you talked before? Introduce them to each other and be a "social butterfly".

Most important don´t focus on closing, have fun, the girls will come automatically. In college it can be good if you don´t escalate too far in public while the party is on. Most college girls are very DTF but don´t want to be a slut. So when the party ends and you´ve built rapport with her, take her to her place and escalate there. Girls love to fuck the cool discrete guy.

onizloms · 2015-06-27T11:35:40+00:00

Hey man, my guess is that you come off as needy and insecure when engaging these people. They can sense you're nervous and in your head and it's very unattractive and annoying to them so they send you away. Imagine if you were chilling with your friends or having wild fun, and someone you don't know would awkwardly engage with you. You'd probably be annoyed and not willing to invest in the interaction.

Maybe have a honest look at yourself and see if this is the case. It's usually thr case for people who experience what you experience. You might be socially disconnected and oblivious to the flaws in your behavior. I suggest picking up Models by Mark Manson and reading it. As often as this gets thrown out in this sub, it's good advice.

redditisawesomeinla · 2015-06-27T19:27:18+00:00

Be outgoing and don't listen to that nagging voice in your brain. If you want to make new friends just approach and say "Hey, how are y'all doing?" It can be scary but it's going to turn out well. They're not going to tell you to f-off. They'll invite you into their conversation and the more people the better in that you can talk with one person and have your own convo. Get social and meet people. As women see you being social and having fun they will approach or if you approach them they will be more favorable. After talking with one you can ask for a dance - or if they're already dancing or people are dancing join in - especially if it's light-hearted and friends dancing and it's a joking good time they'll be more likely to include you.

Title	How to have a great party experience?
Author	manhani
Upvotes	1
Comments	16
Date	June 27, 2015 6:36 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3ba6fc/how_to_have_a_great_party_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-have-a-great-party-experience.1390187 https://theredarchive.com/post/1390187

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