How to listen?

MrLestat · 2015-03-12T16:06:24+00:00

Ask simple questions about what she's saying. Mostly related to the last thing she said. If she's talking about her trip to the Bahamas, ask her what did she find interesting. Or why was that beach so amazing that it was worth telling a story about it.

Or tell her you're not interested in what she's saying if you actually aren't, but be proactive and propose a better topic of your liking.

SavageBeaver0009 · 2015-03-12T17:52:07+00:00

Ask questions. Agree or disagree with something she said. The best way to listen is to have an actual conversation. Being interested is a lot easier to do than feigning interest.

docshay · 2015-03-13T05:15:47+00:00

Emphathize

AnonymousAutonomous · 2015-03-12T17:26:09+00:00

I find the best way is asking questions that should be related to the last topic, however, questions which you would find at least some interest in being answered and not just for the sake of conversation. This way you dont zone out while she babbles on and I personally find it ok to interrupt her to ask another question or to fill in with something of personal experience. If it seems too rude when you interrupt her, say something like "Im sorry, I dont want to be rude but if I dont say/ask this now I KNOW I will forget it".

BrandoPB · 2015-03-12T19:21:59+00:00

I have the same problem because I'm pretty socially anxious. I think I'm focusing on what they're saying, but in reality all my focus is on what I'm going to say in return.

Don't try to formulate responses while they're speaking, they'll come naturally. Look up articles and videos on how to really listen to someone speaking to you.

Jaja1990 · 2015-03-12T19:52:18+00:00

Once extremely introverted and shy, now I'm more an ambivert, but I'm still at my best in 1 on 1 situations (or small groups in general).

How to listen? The key aspect is focus: whenever the mind wanders or wants to comment upon things others are saying, just bring her back on the content. Try to understand how the girl in front of you is feeling about what she's saying and put yourself in her shoes; share her excitement/sadness/anger/whatever and then, if the context requires it, offer your perspective. If the situation is tricky be respectful, yet honest. If you don't think to have understood well her words, make a summary and ask her if that is what she intended.

A huge part of ourselves is made of our experiences, so the stories we tell are really important. I've witnessed the end of friendships and love-stories because of pride and misunderstandings; communication is key in social contexts and listening is more important than talking, because often being quiet is difficult.

sukhvirk150 · 2015-03-13T06:40:33+00:00

From Harvard business review:

https://hbr.org/2015/02/everything-you-need-to-know-about-becoming-a-better-listener/

R1fle · 2015-03-13T03:57:35+00:00

Talk about what you fucking want to talk about. Don't ask her questions about shit you don't give a fuck about.

c00kiecutter · 2015-03-12T23:18:11+00:00

Talk to people that tell things you are interested in listening to. Duh.

Title	How to listen?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	45
Comments	10
Date	March 12, 2015 3:29 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2yswez/how_to_listen/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-listen.1385217 https://theredarchive.com/post/1385217

Comments