This is how I let go of my nervousness and get amazing results from dates with women I meet off of apps and from social life or cold approaches:

  • She is already attracted to you to some extent.

If she weren’t, she wouldn’t be receptive to your approaches at all, not present, and just ghost or flake on you.

Therefore, there is no need to wonder if she likes you or not.

She is there because she is open to the idea of having sex and possibly more with you.

  • Stop the romanticizing.

This is common with a lot of guys who just got into game (its not their fault though. Its the social conditioning).

Before they go on dates, they are already visualizing marrying and having kids with her way before anything physical happened.

They still have this washed down mainstream conditioning of 'when I get the girl, all my problems will be solved and she is going to complete me‘.

Stop this shit. Its absolute trash. Replace it with some facts and reality instead, even when it hurts to you now.

However, don’t be a stone hearted bastard either. Find the balance that works best for you.

  • Focus more on feeling good in your skin and on presence than you focus on her.

Because she can’t build attraction for you if you try to force it by being too focused on making something happen. It needs some space for her to chase, presence, and letting go skills in order for it to develop. In other words, practice and git gud.

  • Go in with no expectations and let go of the need to control the outcome and other people.

For me, this is the best way to be fully grounded in my body and to really enjoy the interaction with her as well as the present moment in case I have some insecurities or worries coming up.

The mantras I used before going outside were 'my goal for this date is to give myself and her a good time‘ and 'no matter what happens, I‘m going to be fine‘.

  • Embrace awkward silences.

Literally just look around and relax when it happens. Make sure your body takes up the space it needs and don’t make yourself small.

  • Act on opportunities to become physical but at the same time, don’t wait for them like a puppy.

Most women pick the guy who is self-confident enough to go in for the kiss or to get more physical with her when the opportunity is there and reject or friendzone the guy who failed to seize it, even when he is more attractive and more masculine than the other guy.

Mastering this one skill will transform your dating life, no matter what you look like or where you stand growth wise right now.