How to push yourself in the moment?

Feeling_Row4481 · 2024-08-11T07:30:26+00:00

try this, just imagine yourself turning off all emotion. fake your confidence and just pretend like you are physically pushing yourself towards someone you want to talk to.

do this once or twice and it’ll be easier, you just have to literally disassociate yourself the first couple times

eventually, you’ll realize it actually isn’t that bad and walking up to women isn’t the end of the world and while you won’t get success many times, you’ll find some :-)

DaygameCode · 2024-08-11T11:53:50+00:00

I like this woman, but since I don’t know if she likes me I will ignore her and being cold while I evaluate my chances here.

That’s a way your ego with the help of anxiety starts to prevent you from acting when it’s scared of rejection or bad outcomes

I will analyse her behavior and look for signs of interest, by smiling and looking to hold eye contact while smiling and see if she reciprocates, looks at me and smiles back

Your anxiety kicks in and wants to evaluate all potential outcomes, specially the negative ones. Anxiety won’t let you make a move unless it finds a guaranteed way to succeed without any chance for failure, or until it manages to find a guaranteed way to save face with dignity and grace if you fail, in order to protect your ego. Testing the waters very subtly is the lowest risk option Anxiety can allow you to try for now.

She gives signals of interest reciprocating my gestures, but I pussy out and don’t approach regardless.

You have gotten the validation or reassurance that your ego needed, but since it has already gotten it, it then says:

• Ego: “Don’t bother risking ruining this good outcome! Getting a smile from a girl is good enough for our self-esteem. Let’s keep it here”

• Rational mind: “Come on man, we got a positive vibe, this is our chance to get a girl! Don’t be a coward now”

• Your ego doesn’t want to admit the cowardice, so it says: It’s not that we are a coward, it’s that we’ve been cold to her before, which is rude, and breaking that barrier might come off as insincere or desperate.

• Anxiety: Ego’s right. Besides, what if she perceives the sudden change in behaviour as manipulative? We could end up making things worse

• But your rational mind still pressing, counters: “_If you don’t take a chance now, you’ll regret it. This is a rare opportunity and she seems interested. What’s the point of analyzing everything if you never act? Taking a risk is part of life and growth. Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you tried._”

• The ego, stubborn and fearful, retorts, “-We can’t afford to face that kind of humiliation. Remember the last time we tried and got shut down? It took weeks to rebuild our confidence. We can just enjoy the small victories – the smile, the eye contact. Let’s not push our luck._”

• Your rational mind isn’t ready to concede: But think of what we could gain. A genuine connection, the excitement of a new relationship, the fulfillment of taking a bold step. Growth comes from stepping out of the comfort zone. We won’t learn or improve by staying passive.

• Anxiety: “But we don’t know how to handle it if the girl thinks we are weird or creepy, what if she screams? How do I act then? What if she tells me i’m too ugly/old/short, what will i say? What if she laughs at me? How will i behave to preserve my dignity? What if she says i’m bothering her and i upset her? How do i even avoid bothering her or upset her?

• Rational mind: “_Dude, are you aware that all you need is preparation to be able to manage all those potential outcomes?_”

• Anxiety: “_Oh yes, preparation would be great so we can relax, if you manage to find a way to deal with all the bad futuristic outcomes, then I’ll let you be social and approach anyone. Who can prepare you to handle all those things with grace and dignity if they happen?_”

Wing_Inevitable · 2024-08-11T08:33:43+00:00

How to push yourself in the moment?

There are a million different things you could do.

In general for newbies it is recommended to use the 3 second rule - so you don’t freeze up.

Other good ones are :

Motivation increases like :

Imagining having sex with the girl
Imaging everything will go well
Imagining the girl loves you.

Downside minimisers like :

What is the worst that could happen? She says no
Imagine she likes you
etc

Others like :

Not giving a fuck.
Replacing negativity - It might not work BUT what if it does.
State related mood increases
Understanding that NO matter how good you are - shit happens. It is a 1/3 chance in any given scenario, BUT if you don’t try it is a 0% chance.
Ignore your brain. Just tell it to fuck off.
Narcissus mentality. (Like you are “the god of pussy”) this one is also know as “thinking you are the prize” or “Think you are good enough for any girl”.
She needs you in her life - if you are more open to helping people.
Ignoring the anxiety. It is there just ignore it.
(NOT RECOMMENDED) Do practice approaches

All of this are personality dependant so figure out yourself first.

What do you guys think or tell yourselves when doubt causes you to freeze up?

“Let’s see if this peasant is up to my standards ”

I also can’t give less of a fuck what anyone thinks of me.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-08-11T07:39:13+00:00

You don't need to "push through" anxiety. You need to lower anxiety.

Here are some tips:

Tell yourself that you don't give a fuck and try to get in the mindset of not giving a fuck.
Take a quick attention tour around your body. Relax your body. Especially around the eyes, mouth, forehead, and slow down your breathing
Try to get yourself in a happy mood. Joke around. Maybe choose an opener that might make you laugh like "did you just fart? Because you just blew me away!"
Work on your inner game so you feel more confident and attractive all the time - also when not approaching. This will also be a good defense against rejection.
Learn to be 100% okay with rejection. Accept that it's a numbers game.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-08-11T09:33:29+00:00

I practice self hypnosis and when I do get nervous I say to myself I am tall attractive and powerful.
None of these things are lies.

I have been afraid of dogs since age 3. Just last year I suggested to myself that I am not afraid anymore. It took 3 days to fix.
Now dogs don't bark a me because I don't give a fuck about them.

Hypnosis works really good for me for instance I can hypnotise myself to know exactly what to say to a woman at any exact time to make her like me. I was good before but this is next level.

People are self programming themselves for failure all the time their experiences in life reflect this. Its all about the words you use and the way you speak about yourself that forms everything in life.

I can go to a singles night and suggest to myself that I am going to have a wonderful night and lots of girls will be interested in me. This becomes a self fulfilling prophesy for me because I am giving off the energy that makes this a reality.

I have no internal dialogue during the day. My internal dialogue is positive all the time.

BTW please don't PM me, just study it like I did. Make reprogramming your mind a lifelong endeavour.

epimpstyle · 2024-08-11T12:12:11+00:00

What you say is a paradox, a vicious circle, because if you know "game" you are competent and a guy who knows what to do/say is confident. If you study "game" you won't be afraid to talk to a stranger because you know what to say and how to continue.

Imagine you have to talk about, let's say, "climate change" in front of an audience without any preparation, just get up on stage and start talking. Is it easy? I think not, you will have a lot of fear. What if you are prepared, you make notes, you make a script to follow when you speak... are you still afraid to speak when you know you are well prepared? This is what I said above, when you are competent, you become confident.

Anxiety occurs when you think about many things at the same time and your brain cannot solve each problem, so the body's reaction is to make you not act, not do anything because it is safer. When you see a girl, you might think, "How do I look? Am I dressed well enough? Oh my God, she is cute, should I say something about her eyes? Or about her hair? Her clothes? What is the perfect opener? What if she says XYZ... what should I say? Oh, I think these people are watching and listening to me. Now a car will pass, maybe she won't hear me. What if she doesn't stop?" You see? So many things in a few seconds is too much for your brain, your heart beats faster, you blush, you sweat and appears all kinds of reasons why you should not tell her anything.

That is why I say to do your homework, be prepared and know what to say and how to proceed...later there is no reason to be afraid of talking to a girl.

sattanamos · 2024-08-11T11:36:40+00:00

take vitamin B complex and potassium chloride really helped me with my brain , i feel i can talk to people with no issue

Honest-Ad2811 · 2024-08-11T14:06:10+00:00

I give myself a little speech I tell myself " I'm the fucking man, I got this" a little pep talk to get myself jacked up.

Sure_Elevator · 2024-08-11T15:49:17+00:00

"I'm a total introvert, so I feel you. When I'm in a social situation and I start to freeze up, I remind myself that it's okay to be a little awkward. I mean, nobody's perfect, right? I also try to focus on the other person and show genuine interest in what they're saying. It takes the spotlight off of me and helps me relax. And honestly, sometimes I just take a deep breath and tell myself to 'just go with it.' Sounds cheesy, but it works for me."

Title	How to push yourself in the moment?
Author	SpiritDetective13
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	August 11, 2024 7:14 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1epetxg/how_to_push_yourself_in_the_moment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-push-yourself-in-the-moment.1526959 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526959

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