how to regain composure?

puaCurveBall · 2012-02-15T17:51:52+00:00

You just fucking do it because you realize there is no other option if you want to live a happy and healthy lifestyle.

You do it through sheer force of will.

Framing is important. The things you mentioned are generally caused by a miscommunication, you making a mistake in what you say or them misunderstanding you.

Why is a bad date anymore your fault than theirs or simply due to two incompatible personalities?

2012-02-15T21:13:12+00:00

If you genuinely don't give a fuck, you wouldn't be in pickup. It is a lie, but it's an important one.

I think it's more about letting go of stupid shit than it is about not ever caring about anything. Experience your emotions, let them wash over you, then separate yourself from them. Emotions are nonlogical and yet pretty damn useful. Use them, then throw them away. Not feeling great about a set? Isolate that feeling, find its source and fix it for the next set.

Lying to yourself is how you change your inner game. It's not necessarily true that everything is an IOI, and it's not necessarily true that every girl is attracted to you, but the mentality those ideas put you in are positive and helpful in pickup.

metshower · 2012-02-15T17:55:43+00:00

I find this hard too and I don't have an easy solution for myself.

I've started reading this self-improvement book that uses NLP techniques (yeah I bought it without realizing it was a self-improvement book!). It has a few techniques/tricks you can use to reprogram your brain. I'm still working my way through the book.

breakN_leaveflowers · 2012-02-15T22:26:10+00:00

You have to focus on why you did it in the first place. You knew asking a girl out could possibly lead to rejection, and even if she says yes, you knew it might not last forever, but you still did it because you didn't want to be a single and miserable fuck your whole existence. All that has changed since then is you got a taste of happiness and you didn't want to let it go, so just remember that you knew going into it that it was never yours to begin with, that you were only borrowing it, and that now that it's run its course you can let it go and start looking for the next adventure, keeping the lessons close to heart.

itsmehobnob · 2012-02-15T23:01:15+00:00

possible explanations for a "bad incident": 1. Your fault. 2. Their Fault 3. No ones fault. 2 of 3 you cannot control and shouldn't be worried about. People tend to blame #1 more than they should, could be an ego thing.

red321red321 · 2012-02-16T00:13:48+00:00

you gotta just be alone and think. had a rough day the other day and i was seething over something - which in all honesty doesn't happen because i'm really stress free all the time, no joke - and i just had to be angry about it and grit my teeth alone and just think about it over and over until i watched some sports and it left my mind for two hours. you can't run from problems but you can vent for a time and then take your mind off of the problem for a while in some other way.

Comma20 · 2012-02-16T07:51:28+00:00

It's not about "Not giving a fuck"

It's about the fucks you actually give.

Title	how to regain composure?
Author	asad16
Upvotes	2
Comments	8
Date	February 15, 2012 5:28 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pqx86/how_to_regain_composure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-regain-composure.1328372 https://theredarchive.com/post/1328372

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