how to stop using dating apps?

joebeau99 · 2022-04-24T22:53:22+00:00

“It seems like most girls just dont want to be approached these days”

This is exactly what I hate about this sub, people always tell you to never approach a woman when she is preoccupied, at the gym, walking in public and pretty much your only option is to meet girls at the bar, all this just makes you overthink more and not act. I feel you bro, sometimes I’m confident that a girl would enjoy me starting a conversation with her yet I hop on this sub and then my confidence just disappears. Like I thought the whole point was to just not overthink and try.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-04-25T11:23:11+00:00

You are a victim of social conditioning.

“It’s so creepy when a guy tries to talk to you in public”

This is an example of social conditioning.

Whenever someone tells you a certain behaviour is correct and another one isn’t, this is a member of society dictating you some norms on how you should behave if you want others to approve of your behaviour so you can “belong” to the community.

Some of this norms are ok, and it makes sense to accept them, but many others come from unfair prejudices and it doesn’t make sense to follow them.

You heard “approaching a girl in public is creepy”. But is it really? That depends.

If the person approaching is creepy, then yes it’s creepy, but not because the act of approaching a girl is objectively a creepy thing, but rather because the person who is doing it is a creepy person regardless of where he does the approach.

He is creepy when approaching girls in public, and he is creepy when he approaches girls at parties. He is creepy everywhere he tries to approach girls because he is a creepy person.

And a creepy person will be creepy regardless of the situation, even at normal places where most people are conditioned to believe it is ok to approach, he will still be creepy.

A creepy person is someone who causes fears or unease to others in this case the girl, now in what context would approaching a girl in public mean that the girl is immediately afraid of you?

For example if you approach her at night at 3am in the morning, when she is going home and seems to be alone with no witnesses in sight then that could objectively be a creepy approach regardless of the person’s intentions, even if you just wanna ask for directions because you are genuinely lost that late at night, she will still feel creeped out.

That’s because she has good reasons to be suspicious and afraid that she might be raped, killed, robbed or tricked somehow.

But if you approach however at 13:00 pm in the middle of the day, and there are witnesses everywhere, then she is gonna be far more relaxed.

Asking a girl in the middle of the day for directions is fine everyone’s asked for directions to stranger some time in their life.

However, now you are probably thinking:

“Sure, but approaching girls to flirt on them in the middle of the day is more creepy than asking for directions, right?”

And like I said before, that depends.

Depends on how you carry the conversation, depends on whether you are clear with her about your intentions in a genuine friendly way, or whether you are stiff, serious, superficial and kind of aggressive, depends on your appearance, body language, and your tone of voice, it depends on how smooth the conversation flows, and whether you can break the tension with humour, on whether you accept a rejection peacefully,…

The same girl can be creeped out by a creepy guy who approaches her in the middle of the day, and also be completely charmed by the next guy who also has approached her in the middle of the day but just has more charisma and better social skills.

The girls who say it’s creepy most likely have experienced approaches from creepy guys, so they came to the conclusion that any one who approaches her is a creepy guy…

They have created this prejudice, which is no different than saying that if a black guy stole something, then every other black guy must also be a thief.

So, you may encounter this girls who might have had bad experiences with cold approaches and might have those prejudices, so how can you break away from those prejudices

Title	how to stop using dating apps?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	16
Date	April 24, 2022 9:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ub5dqk/how_to_stop_using_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-using-dating-apps.1261254 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261254

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