I got a rare second chance. Please Help Me!

nip90 · 2011-07-20T02:26:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

synergy_ · 2011-07-20T03:26:38+00:00

Know that we can't live your life for you and that what will happen when she comes over will be fluid. We can't tell you what to do.

What you need to know is that you'll get desires to say and do things when she's around you because you're picking up queues, verbal and non-verbal. When you feel like making a move or doing something or saying something, do it. Do it with confidence, as if you mean it. At worst, you'll have read it completely wrong and she'll never see you again. At best, she'll be very receptive and it'll go exactly as you want.

Also, if you're worried that you'll never see her again, you're doing it wrong. You should understand that you're awesome enough that any girl who doesn't want to see you is making a massive mistake. This is inner game. If she happens to be someone like that, it's her loss. There are tons of other girls out there, some of them are probably just like her.

MZITF · 2011-07-20T04:37:17+00:00

You hyped a surprise, so you should have SOMETHING, but don't over do it. I am not that in to dancing, but the idea of asking her to teach you how to do a dance sounds sorta cheesy to start with. BUT! After a bottle of wine it could be quite charming. Just don't bring up the dancing until you both have a few drinks in you.

You sound really desperate to impress this girl and that's fine! That's great! That's probably part of the reason she wants to spend time with you. Understand that you already have this one in the bag though.

I understand why you want to make this in to a system. Relationships are scary and being denied or rejected by a women is one of the worst feelings in the world. I bet you are a smart guy and this whole system seems very logical. If you like her and she likes you, things will work out well, but if you obsess over whether or not you will "K-close" the whole thing will fall apart. Women can smell a lack of confidence like sharks smell seal blood in a tank.

My recommendation? Mitigate the surprise as much as possible. If she likes to drink, buy another bottle of wine and say your surprise is ANOTHER BOTTLE OF WINE. If you think she truly desires a surprise, buy her a trinket of little value, but withhold it until later in the evening. Make sure it is a gag gift and make sure it is not creepy and after withholding the secret for a while, give it to her. Try to make it funny.

Don't spend your time "kinoing". Spend your time asking her about her life. Ask her about her family. Ask her if she has pets. Ask her what she wants to do with her life and WHY. It's called getting to know someone! Who knows, maybe you can even have fun. It's like all those shitty inspirational posters say "It's about the journey, not the destination".

If you just want to fuck her though and you aren't interested in a relationship, just do what you want. If she is open to that, then being aggressive is a better approach because she has likely already made up her mind if she wants to have sex or not but she likely won't make the first move.

I am sorry for the rant, but I feel like this subreddit strongly objectifies women. I think many people in this subreddit have two major misunderstandings about women. The first misunderstanding is that there is a blanket approach that can make any woman love you. All women are different, some like stupid aggressive men that are assholes, some like sweet nerdy men who are sensitive, it depends on the person. The second misunderstanding that I perceive is that women are heartless cattle that must be subverted, deceived, and corralled to curry the favor of. This attitude is creepy! Sure, some women want to be treated like shit, but some guys do too. It's important to remember that, like men, women are people too. They desire love and acceptance just like many people in this subreddit do.

I am not accusing you of this, just ranting and shitting on your thread (sorry)

puppy22 · 2011-07-20T11:50:29+00:00

You remind me of me a few years back. My simple advice: Don't let yourself be a "puppy" around her (no pun on my username). By this, I mean don't get all giddy and excited at everything she says--it screams desperate. Just keep your cool, and act as if you guys have been long time acquaintances. Realize the hard part is already done. SHE is coming over to see YOU. You're in a primo spot, sir. Be yourself, have a few ideas of some fun you can do at home (make root beer floats, have some crackers, cheese, etc for the wine, or cook up a simple meal to have the wine with).

as for the surprise, keep it simple. Flowers have been suggested, and although cliche, they're a nice gesture that women appreciate. It shows you DO care (and tried), and that you didn't just try to lure her for one thing (which, as stated before, makes her feel slutty).

Just be genuine, yourself, and let her enjoy herself with you. It's your territory!

(I like to write a list of things to do around my place and have a few things handy to do just in case things don't fit the right moment)

Title	I got a rare second chance. Please Help Me!
Author	wishiwasclever
Upvotes	17
Comments	10
Date	July 20, 2011 1:59 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iuepc/i_got_a_rare_second_chance_please_help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-got-a-rare-second-chance-please-help-me.1320467 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320467

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