Hello to whomever bothers to read this.

I am a 23 year old guy. I am making this account and posting here as sort of a way to document my thoughts and progress.

I have always been introverted and have only had one relationship with a crazy girl with low self esteem who was terrible in bed (at least I think she was, but I guess I don't have anything to compare it to. She literally just sat there no matter what was happening and I had to do all the work. She also talked about marriage the first two weeks of dating. I should have dipped out of there right then and there but I was really desperate to get laid and she was giving me a lot of pussy so even though it was trash I put up with her crazy ass for way too long).

I have always been introverted and it's been hard for me to put myself out there to get rejected so much. It hurts bad evey time but it's slowly getting better I guess. I decided now that I am going to try and really put an effort to make sure I am the best I can be and put myself out there more. I am tired of all these guys I know, many of which I consider losers and assholes, getting dates with beautiful women and getting laid all the time. I know that if I don't start soon, I will be wasting the best years of my life to try to attract beautiful young women and I don't want to squander these years and look back in regret later on in life. I already feel like I missed out on so much in high school and college because of this.

I just got rejected by this beautiful lady I knew from high school yesterday. It sucked because I thought I had a shot and it didn't work out. She said she was already seeing someone. It's definitely hard to do for me. I have to believe I have a chance whenever I try but all my rejections in the past make my analytical brain think negative thoughts like I have a near zero chance of success statistically because of my past performance. I think thoughts like "she isn't actually seeing anyone, you're just not good enough."

Sorry for rambling and whining. This is my first post and I hope it'll get better in the future.

I will start going out more soon. I know I need to start trying to approach girls in public and at the bar/club even though it scares the shit out of me because doing what I've been doing is not working and is not making me happy. But honestly, I just have no idea what to start saying to a random girl that I am interested in talking to in public. I feel like I can't think of anything to start a conversation that wouldn't be stupid, and I'm even more scared of getting shot down in front of a ton of people. So for my first post, does anyone have any advice for conversation starters with ladies at the bar/club in a public space? Especially if she is with her friends? I am especially scared of them in groups lol

If you read this far thanks a lot. I plan to make updates on my actions and progress in the future