21 years old kissless virgin here. I had my first dates some months ago (they didn't went well, but hey, they're the first ones!), i used to feel bad about that but now I became more lucid and want to reflect on my mistakes. Girls have been always attracted to me, because i seem very confident and mysterious, but i wasn't interested because i suffered from depression and low self esteem, but i'm trying to work on this.

This girl found me on instagram, texted me and after some days she asked me out. First date went really well, i took her to a park and we had a couple of drinks. We really enjoyed our time and i can tell she was really into me, she even proposed a second date. It went well because i didn't give a shit about the outcome, i just focused to know her and to have fun. Things get fucked up by the second date.

I now had the platonic idea that she would have been my girlfriend (due to her interests and look she was my dream girl), and started to overthink everythink, mainly about the "kiss moment". I took her, i went for a hug and she kissed me on the cheek. It was pretty awkward cause i didn't expect that. I took her to an abandoned building, she brought some weed and we smoked togheter with some music on. Man, it was so awkward, i was overthinkig so much on what to say and when to kiss her. There were a couple of moments we were very close and i could have, but i didn't because i was so fucking scared. She offered my chewing gums as well, she obviously wanted to get kissed. Eventually we had a third date. It didn't was great, i could have kissed her again but i didn't.

Then went quarantine and we sort of still kept in contact, when we met again i confessed to her my feelings, and she was a little bit surprised and told me she didn't thought i liked her, and i guess she has friendzoned me. She texts me occasionally and asked me out some days ago, but now she's ghosting me i don't know why. If we meet again i could try to act more sexual with her, maybe, i don't have nothing to lose afterwards, even though i don't believe i have many hopes with her, i should have been more clear fron the start, and taken action instead of thinking how to do it.

Now i'm grateful for this experience because i now know what regret means, and when it will happen again i'll take action. I was so insecure about my lack of inexperience, but reading this subreddit i realized that sexual experience doesn't really matter, what matters is the mindset, which is the thing i'm focusing to develop rn.

Sorry for my english, it' not my first language.