I keep making excuses about why I shouldn't talk to a girl. I need help.

Mr-E-Relevont · 2013-11-08T11:33:04+00:00

go skydiving and stop doubting yourself. leave rejecting you to others: that's their problem

2013-11-08T09:54:15+00:00

Your problem is the first four words of the post.

If you dont get out much, then get out more. Make friends. Dont be boring.

Its better to regret doing something than to not regret doing something.

Your post is full of excuses on how or why youre not good enough. You need to work on your confidence and conversation skills.

reezyreddits · 2013-11-10T02:27:09+00:00

Think about it like this. One day you'll be on your deathbed. Will it really matter that that one time when you were 20 you got rejected by this girl or that girl? I know that is morbid sounding advice and may not help, but here's an anecdote from the other night. Before I start, I'd also like to point out to you that I commuted for 5 years of college while living with my parents too. So I feel your pain.

I was at a local bar with my female friend and her 3 other female friends. Eventually more female patrons joined around my spot and the ratio of females to males greatly improved my chances that if i were to approach even one of them I could get in pretty well with them. This is great! Then the music finally picked up.

As the women transitioned to the dance floor, I froze up. Paralyzed. Unable to muster the strength to get up, I watched other guys dance with the HB7's and 8's that I SHOULD have been dancing with, and worse, I was sitting across to a HB9 that I wasn't trying to game either (to my defense, the music was so loud I would have had to shout). Finally, a guy that had been dancing approached me. I didn't even know son, but he basically said, "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you trying to dance with these girls?" And you know what? I couldn't even be mad with him. He was right. I got up and danced for a little bit, but then quickly left the bar completely.

I should have danced. I shouldn't have even thought about it, but I was way into my head. Not even a month from now, it won't matter that I danced that night. So next time I go to a bar with music, guess what I'll be doing? Dancing.

The advice about talking to random strangers is good advice. I've heard people say good practice is to talk to girls that work at stores. I was in Urban Outfitters the other day and most of the girls that work there are pretty hot, and they're "alternative hipsters" so we definitely hold common interests. One asked me if i was "finding everything okay", a standard question that mostly anyone working at a store will ask you. I said yes thanks and quickly darted my eyes away from her. I still had anxiety, and I realized this was silly... it was her talking to me...I didn't even HAVE to approach. With my heart beating, I caught her again and I said, "So, are you finding everything okay?" We laughed and had a semi decent conversation. At checkout, there was another babe working the register and by now I was warmed up and had no problem having small talk with her.

Point is, you can do it. Especially if you feel confident in your looks, just go for it. It's trite advice to say "oh, it takes practice, just go for it" etc. but it really does, and it really works. I've had sex with multiple women and still get butterflies around pretty girls, but I find if I just consistently do it, then I finally get comfortable with it.

TL;DR: Nope: just read it.

TAway0 · 2013-11-08T16:04:21+00:00

Two things: 1) If you think you're not interesting then do something about it. What would make you interesting to yourself. Go do that? Then go do the next thing.

2) If you mentally accept that you're not interesting, then you will project that to everyone you meet, and thus everyone will assume so. You have done things in your life that others have not. You have dumb funny stories from hanging out with your friends. Share them. You're probably more interesting than you think.

sillymallard · 2013-11-08T21:03:13+00:00

In short, you have to train your actions to move faster than your mind, just like a reflex.

Try machine gunning. Just approach the first woman you see and talk to her. If she doesn't talk to you, just go to the next, and the next, and the next. Do this preferably in an area where you won't be recognized....

Also, David DeAngelo says to come up with a personal default move whenever you see a woman you want to meet. It could be some opener from Magic Bullets, or something similar to what the Simple Pickup guys do, or just a boring, generic "Hi".

namfux · 2013-11-08T18:49:24+00:00

why are you jumping to consideration about how she'll think of you (re: living with your parents)....

Start talking to everyone. Talk to people in the grocery store, at the gym, wherever you go. Just start with "hey how's it going". Then just add in something like the weather. Ask someone for directions, ask someone at the grocery store where a particular item is... it doesn't matter just start engaging all strangers.

Eventually you will start with a simple comment or conversation starter and follow up with exchanging names. When you do this with people you might see frequently (i.e. gym / class or whatever) then realy try to remember their names and say hi to them the next time. You'll start to realize that majority of people are receptive to the interaction... soon you follow this with asking them if they want to hang out sometime. This is probably the biggest step because you're putting yourself out there for rejection (and it will happen), but pick yourself up and keep at it and people will want to hang out with you... you'll exchange numbers and eventually be going on dates and expanding your social circle.

Just remember -- start with the baby steps by interacting and engaging people you are less intimidated by (and stop worrying about the outcome if you're having trouble approaching in the first place... if you're worried as such, then a simple interaction should be a win).

Title	I keep making excuses about why I shouldn't talk to a girl. I need help.
Author	probablyawalrus
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	November 8, 2013 7:31 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1q5xiz/i_keep_making_excuses_about_why_i_shouldnt_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-keep-making-excuses-about-why-i-shouldnt-talk-to.1361256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1361256

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