I (22M) recently decided to get involved in seduction/pickup. Yesterday, I had a golden opportunity for my first approach but I screwed it all. Here’s a summary:

Place: coffee shop

Part 1:

Me: Ordering coffee. Maintaining a playful eye contact.

Her (barista): Alright Tom, you’re all set.

Me: How do you know my name?

Her: Oh, you came a few weeks ago. I just remembered, this is my favorite name. (Her cheeks turned red, she was a bit shy about it)

Me: thanks, I appreciate it.

Me: Keep small talking while she’s preparing my order.

Part 2:

I sat down and started reading my book. I couldn’t focus. I knew I had to take action. I still have tremendous approach anxiety as I’m still a beginner. I finished reading, and before leaving, went to her.

Me (literally dying under pressure and not having my normal voice): Hey X, by the way, I can’t get over the fact that Tom is your favorite name. Nobody ever told me that :)

Her (feeling awkward): how really?

Me: Yeah... Anyway, what are you doing after work? Do you wanna take a walk or something so that we can get to know each other?

Her: Ughh, hmm thanks but I’m just gonna do my own thing.

Me: alright, no worries, see you later.

I left. Very annoyed I screwed it up but so proud I did my first ever approach.

What do you’ll think? What were my biggest mistakes?

I think maybe I could have:

  • asked for her number instead of taking a walk
  • be more natural and less stressed
  • I could tell she was into me but my awkwardness just killed the opportunity