I'm consistently dating having "very good" first dates but then no second dates

quinnmcd · 2020-09-27T04:05:12+00:00

I used to have this problem a few years ago here are my tips:

Make your dates shorter. Keep them short sweet to the point about an hour long. Leave her wanting more and excited to see you again
Put effort into you date ideas. I’ve never gotten a second date after a movie date, going out eat or going for a walk on the first date. I always get second date when I make first date fun and original.

My last first date we went to a park and had a picnic. I got some carry out to a restaurant we both never had before. She texted me about wanted to see me again before I end made it home.

Try to find something that interests you both. You both like art then try a painting date. You both like gaming go to arcade for a date. Etc etc.

Keep conversations flirty and let her do most of the talking.

I can tell on date when I’m going to get ghosted or rejected if I’m doing all the talking or fishing for conversation topics. When communicating is hard or the vibe isn’t there then a second date isn’t happening.

There isn’t a lot of information here so I have to ask questions. Are the telling you they had a good time on the date? What are you doing to show your long term value? (ex. Telling them about your career or that you’re in school or that you have your own place/car)

You could be coming off as desperate (since you added the part about not having a serious relationship) or clingy. You could exposing your red flags or coming off as disingenuous.

Keep going on dates and reflecting on what goes good on dates and what doesn’t.

yrogerg123 · 2020-09-27T06:19:46+00:00

When are you asking for date two? You need to keep the conversation going. That means texting her that night, saying hi the next afternoon, and trying to make plans for a second date within a week of the first one. If you wait too long she will think you were just messing around, you have to keep the momentum up if you want it to be real.

It sounds like your first date game is actually completely fine, it's just the follow-through that's lacking. All I really do is text "I had a really nice time, hope you got home safe :)" then the next day "had a really nice time yesterday, are you free saturday afternoon? Was thinking wine in the park." If the first date was actually good it's a guaranteed second. If the first date wasn't great and she rejects, no harm at least I'm not wasting my time.

macroxela · 2020-09-27T12:36:46+00:00

It could also be the age group you're dating. People around your age tend not to know what they want or know how to communicate well hence the dating problems.

kalz44 · 2020-09-28T19:17:07+00:00

It could be bad luck. Some things to think about, how much listening are you doing? How relaxed are you? how attracted are you to the women you're dating? are you dressed well? are you going for the kiss? are you having fun?

Also this could be part of your growth in dating. It could be none of the things I listed above but maybe you need more experience...22 is young af. You're also allowed to ask the women why they didn't go on a second date with you...though take that with a grain of salt.

neisbsudnei9191 · 2020-09-28T21:19:42+00:00

Then clearly your first dates aren’t as good as you think lmfao

Title	I'm consistently dating having "very good" first dates but then no second dates
Author	NotCockroach
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	September 27, 2020 2:27 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j0j1xg/im_consistently_dating_having_very_good_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-consistently-dating-having-very-good-first.1502885 https://theredarchive.com/post/1502885

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