I'm trying too hard

ImmabouttogoHAM · 2013-09-27T13:30:23+00:00

I think it's all about being comfortable. Not just with others, but with yourself too. A lot of guys see women as this different species. They're human as well. Talk to them as you would your guy friends to get comfortable. The flirting will follow.

Also, people LOVE talking about themselves. When you're getting to know someone, you ask them questions right? Ask away, and relate as much as you can.

Don't be a boring person. I don't mean only in conversation. Get out of your comfort zone and do some cool shit that you've always wanted to do. This too, will give you some conversation tools. I have some cool stories about traveling to Hawaii and Costa Rica. If it comes up in conversation with a girl, I seem a little more interesting and adventurous. I've noticed that girls love "adventure". Show them that you're not a couch potato.

There's plenty more, but I hope this helps.

NateSamsung · 2013-09-27T13:53:04+00:00

You doing a lot like Michael Cera without the witty dialog that comes from a team of professional writers. Go out with the objective to have fun. Meeting girls and having great conversation will happen more naturally. Focus on your day game, try communicating more by saying less.

joshsway · 2013-09-27T14:11:42+00:00

A couple suggestions:

(1) Don't follow girls around. (2) Anticipate when the conversation is hitting a lull and be the one to end it (3) Be the one to end the conversation and move around/go back to your friends in general (4) Be more sexual as opposed to that annoying dude who asks a bunch of questions but is too much of a pussy to make his intentions known.

changeh · 2013-09-27T16:02:10+00:00

Recently I've been feeling to same. My main opener recently has been "You're cute as fuck, I had to meet you. What is your name". And initially the girls laugh and enjoy it but I find it hard to follow up with that directness. Perhaps I need to improve with my conversational skills.

So tonight I'm going for the more laid back approach and being like "Sup, having a good night?" in the smoking area and using a calmer, down talking method to see how my results fair.

It's all about calibrating the game to match your personality. Girls can tell if you're being fake. So try and find a style which you're comfortable with.

2013-09-27T20:17:08+00:00

Just don't be needy. Literally do the opposite of what you're doing now. Some specific "anti-appearing-needy" techniques may help you, but they're ultimately no substitute for simply not being needy.

How do you not be needy? That comes with a lot of experience and abundance.

IntensePancakes · 2013-09-28T00:31:22+00:00

When a guy hits on a girl, her natural reaction is to push away, even if they are actually very interested. Don't take that as her not liking you. Always assume attraction until you get a full-out rejection. It's a push-pull game.

The way to come off as not needy isn't to not try hard, but to be confident and have no shame with the fact that you're hitting on her. You think she's attractive and are putting forth effort to get to know her better, and you are not afraid of her knowing this, in fact you want her to know it. If she is interested, that's great, but if she's not, then that's no problem, because you can't have a connection with everyone and you know you're awesome and that you will find another girl. That's the attitude you need to have.

coughcoughpow · 2013-09-28T02:30:00+00:00

How do you push them away? How are you needy?

myhppavilion · 2013-09-27T18:27:16+00:00

I suggest two books for you. They are changing my life.

Models - Mark Manson No More Mr. Nice Guy - Dr. Robert Glover

Title	I'm trying too hard
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	14
Date	September 27, 2013 12:44 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1n8t1j/im_trying_too_hard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-trying-too-hard.1359031 https://theredarchive.com/post/1359031

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