I've recently discovered I'm low to mid when it comes to making friends/acquaintances. I can hold a conversation if I really want to but it's not something I enjoy or feel like people enjoy too much.

I've been reflecting on reasons but quite frankly because I don't really care. When there's no objective for me to conquer or see I tend to relax and not be as enthusiastic.

I do great on dates but as soon as other people join it's hard for me to grasp the social skills, I wouldn't say I'm necessarily awkward I can "pretend" what it feels like but I'm always waiting for the interactions to end.

In general, I do really well with people 1 on 1 probably because it feels like there's a connection. Something about trying to connect with 2/3+ people in a circle when talking gets me.

Usually I will only talk around multiple people viewing me if they ask me a question and that usually feels like I'm being judged or pressured. I give very short and unamusing answers It feels like a chokehold.

Where can I start, what book, YouTube video, etc. so I begin to open myself up more and learn to be more social or grasp this concept of being able to talk to multiple people at a table let's say.