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Improving conversation

sinbad2011

May 6, 2018

7 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Improving conversation
Author	sinbad2011
Upvotes	7
Comments	3
Date	May 6, 2018 7:13 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8hhhud/improving_conversation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/improving-conversation.1446130 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446130

Comments

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

TL;DR: #3 & #4, I touch on mindsets and skill sets that greatly improve conversation

____1____

Just wanted to share a quick tip to improve your conversation skills. Easiest way is to talk about things you care about of course. things you find funny.

Have to stop it right here.

Talking about what you care about or things you personally find funny, is easier, but a poor strategy, especially compared to what you could be doing.

Think this through. You could walk up with what is in your head or what you find funny. She might relate to it, she might not. That's down to:

Your ability to sell to her that she should care more about what you're randomly bringing up, more than whatever you were interrupting.
Luck; she might not be into it even if you're spitting the best game possible.

____2____

You know how girls are talking about themselves all the time to their friends in depth? Well you can do that as well.....Ask yourself those questions and answer them out loud.....you will start to think about what your likes and dislikes are and talk more about them.

You were almost onto something here. You noted that they're talking about themselves.

But then you double down on talking about yourself more. Which isn't really different from the other things you've discussed; all your suggestions basically involve trying to open and hold conversation based on yourself and your own thoughts.

____3____

You know how those girls are always talking about themselves? You're noting that people like to talk about themselves. If you could tap into that and get them talking about themselves, you would have a girl who is pulling her own weight in the conversation because she WANTS to be talking. And you're learning about whether she's actually someone you want to interact with more.

____4_____

As for how to open, what if you could jump into her mind and instantly relate to someone? It's not difficult but it does require you shifting the focus outside of yourself and to the world around you; observation skills. Pay attention. Active listening.

David Wygant has a great video on developing these skills. It's ridiculously powerful to simply observe and be Captain Obvious. So much in life is obvious to everyone in the area, but we don't pick up the easy topics, because we think it's more complicated.

It really isn't.

[–]sinbad2011[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Hello, this is a reply to #1 &#2...

Talking about things you like = there has to be calibration of course. You talk about a topic you like and then if she's into it as well, you got a winner. If you see she is totally not into a topic, you calibrate and change the subject. We are supposed to be multithreading anyways. But, if you dont know yourself and your likes and dislikes, then you will be a question stacker. Been there done that. This might not be everyone's problem but it is a problem for some people. If you choose the topics only girls like, in the long term, you will be miserable and in the short term, you will be needy as f*uck and you will be fake since you're talking about stuff you care nothing about.

The point of my original post was to get people talking outloud. Talking outloud in front of a camera about themselves will make the person who is doing that much more talkative. Talking about themselves will help them know who they are much better and when you know yourself, you connect better with people. There is more substance to your personality. That is all it was. One small thing you can do at home to improve conversation skills.

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

____1____

Talking about things you like = there has to be calibration of course. You talk about a topic you like and then if she's into it as well, you got a winner.

Sure, but like I said, leading with a topic you want to talk with, right off, is rolling the dice. It might land. It might crash and burn.

But if you open observationally, you're increasing the odds greatly because then you're starting conversation based on stuff she's either already thinking about and can relate to, or something that she'll immediately relate to because it pertains to her experience at that moment.

Then you don't have to roll the dice or topic hop, hoping to hit on something. Just basic, everyday situational stuff is all you really need.

Example: I opened some girls at a restaurant because I observed that they were looking for the waiter/waitress. I commented something about how I was sure someone would be around...... sometime. We all had a laugh because anyone can relate to the difficulty of trying to flag down a waitress while they're hungry.

I segued after that into other things, but started off basic and strong.

____2____

....if you dont know yourself and your likes and dislikes, then you will be a question stacker.

Getting back to the prior example, I don't think I once talked about my own likes or dislikes. I had them talking about their careers and travels, etc. I think I brought up dancing when they saw my photo on FB. But mostly it I made it about them and they fed the conversation on their own.

No stacking necessary. Active listening is using what they say, to create a follow-up that gets deeper into what they just said. It's like conversation auto-pilot.

____3____

If you choose the topics only girls like, in the long term, you will be miserable and in the short term, you will be needy as f*uck and you will be fake since you're talking about stuff you care nothing about.

Not at all. Getting back to the prior example: one of them had traveled abroad and so I asked about that because I thought it was interesting. Asked her what she liked about that and who can't relate to the adventure of travelling?

If you're doing the things I'm mentioning right, then your follow-ups will be getting at very human and relateable things.

____4____

The point of my original post was to get people talking outloud. Talking outloud in front of a camera about themselves will make the person who is doing that much more talkative.

My point is that one's mindset matters. Simply being prepared to talk about yourself, is limited in utility because good follow-ups on what she says, are what really fuel a conversation that she's contributing to. She'll get around to talking to you about you. That won't be an issue.