Indirect vs Direct approach

Schtemich · 2015-01-27T18:30:22+00:00

Try thinking about it in terms of conversation flow. People are motivated to engage in conversation if they have interesting things to add that make them feel good about themselves. Give them a chance to shine and they will appreciate the opportunity, and by extension, you. The flip side is that if you put somebody on the spot, and they don't know how to respond, it will annoy them and they will resent you.

In other words, it's all about enticing someone to engage.

Your example, I fear, would irritate many people: "Excuse me! Hey, I just thought you were cute and I had to come meet you, I'm Ocantu." This doesn't invite any kind of witty input, in fact, it doesn't invite anything. My guess is most girls say something like, "um, thanks," but behind their bemused eyes they're thinking: "what do you expect of me? I don't know you. What are you hoping for me to say? You came to talk to me, you should be leading the conversation. How long are you going to hang around trying to talk to us?" In a nutshell: you need to follow up with something interesting immediately.

Indirect openers make a noble effort at avoiding this precipice:

"Hey, really quickly, I need the view from someone wearing heels. Is my friend too short?"

It's a silly example, but it gives the girl a couple of obvious answers (i.e. yes or no, she can also accuse you of being mean to your friend, which gives her the chance to seem nice. The heels part makes it seem you had reason to pick her out, albeit tenuous. You also imply you won't linger around for hours with the 'really quickly' which puts her at ease). Once she responds positively, then you bring out the "I'm Ocantu, by the way."

Note: your example would work just fine if she already fancied you.

EDIT: fixed typo

Pentaquark1 · 2015-01-27T14:12:12+00:00

It doesn't really matter. Both works.

You're not kidding anyone anyways. You know whats up, so does she.

One could argue that for direct you require a stronger frame.

Also, don't rely on straight women for dating advice.

TheJaguar77 · 2015-01-27T16:27:09+00:00

my coworkers who are women tell me I come on to strong with that line of mine lol they tell me all the time to go indirect, casual conversation.

Sounds like you're creeping your coworkers out. Women are very good at subtly telling you to chill out. Take their advice.

Edit: Don't put your job in jeopardy over game. I was banging a few interns - without complaints - until a hater coworker ratted me out. My boss didn't even care, and my bosses boss saw me making out/cuddling w an intern at work one day, didn't care, but since it had been brought to light - i had to stop. Not worth losing my job over. NEVER be direct in a work setting unless you know your shit. Subtlety / social intuition is very important for seduction unless you're a tatted biker who sells meth.

DaygameCoach · 2015-01-27T16:32:59+00:00

I wrote about this exact topic here: http://www.daygamer.net/2014/12/07/when-and-how-to-open-direct-day-or-night-game/

Basically: if you are getting IOIs already, open direct, otherwise open playful indirect (which is not the same as an opinion opener). Regardless...past the hook point...your game should be getting more direct.

And, yes, don't rely on women for dating advice, especially family or coworkers.

Title	Indirect vs Direct approach
Author	ocantu1987
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	January 27, 2015 1:55 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2tu8ko/indirect_vs_direct_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/indirect-vs-direct-approach.1383003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383003

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