Interested in a girl that dates multiple guys

enkae7317 · 2015-04-05T22:32:26+00:00

If she's open about dating multiple guys at once she's probably just looking for a casual relationship. So...that being said, don't get too invested.

recyclablebantha · 2015-04-06T02:23:26+00:00

So, I'm relatively new to all this and I met a girl last night that's pretty stellar. She was open about dating multiple guys at once

So far, so good..... She may be dating multiple people but she's open about it.

but I'm a bit unsettled about being one of many and "competing", so to speak.

Then this would not be an ideal situation for you.

What's the right mindset to have in this situation?

Let's back up the train here. If you're asking what the right mindset would be in order for something to happen with this girl, then your mindset is already wrong and you should pull out.

You already seemed to have stated that you don't want to be one of many guys. So why is this girl up for consideration, anyway?

Is this normal

Which part? Girls dating more than one guy? It's not uncommon, especially these days. Or do you mean your own feelings with regard to not wanting to be one of many guys? Yeah, that's natural, too.

and I'm just naive?

Perhaps. Because you think of her dating multiple people as you in "competition" with other guys. You also jumped to saying "one of many," when it's unclear from your Field Report that "many" is an appropriate word.

So it sounds like you're allowing your insecurity to run away with you and this girl is not a good one for you to date because you'll be fighting yourself the whole time.

Competition is also an inappropriate word because even if she'll end up with one at the end of it all, it won't be due to any guy winning a "competition." It's about her feelings. You can't win those and if you try, it will only show your lack of confidence, which is a turn-off. And she may be polyamorous, which is not a competition either.

DaygameCoach · 2015-04-05T20:22:53+00:00

If you a casual sort of dude, meaning that is what you are looking for, and what you subcommunicate and screen for, sure, go for it. If you want a g/f or wife, no. I wrote about serious vs. casual here: http://www.daygamer.net/2012/07/06/how-to-get-the-right-girlguy-communication-skills-101/

--___ · 2015-04-05T22:54:24+00:00

This is normal, and is the essence of casual dating.

Augustonian · 2015-04-07T13:52:36+00:00

I've experienced a couple of these and they can be really healthy. Jealousy melts away pretty well. If its a bit hard for you (and depending in the girl) talk to her about it, communication is the foundation of any relationship. However if you don't invest yourself as much then its less of an issue, and on top of that it means your free to pursue other interests.

If its a one sided open relationship, gtfo.

johnnymaddick · 2015-04-05T20:07:43+00:00

The mindset of friends with benefits. It is probably possible to convert her into exclusive, but since you are relatively new, I wouldn't recommend you to settle for one girl.

Johnny Maddick, www.DatingWithAccent.com

Title	Interested in a girl that dates multiple guys
Author	Radagascar1
Upvotes	9
Comments	9
Date	April 5, 2015 7:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/31jsv2/interested_in_a_girl_that_dates_multiple_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/interested-in-a-girl-that-dates-multiple-guys.1386302 https://theredarchive.com/post/1386302

Comments