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[–]JesperS1208 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Get a list of IOI, and ask him to focus on one IOI for a week.
Here is a list: http://www.pualingo.com/indicator-of-interest-ioi/
You can snap your fingers, when a girl is doing that IOI, to help him see it.
You can make it a game, for who can see first. The loser does a push-up..
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
What about a smile and/or greeting?
That's not on the list, but it could be a valid one in some cases; in other words, not "just friendly" but perhaps that with some interest
[–]JesperS1208 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
But it is to easy to fake.
Everybody who has ever worked with customers, can fake that.
The other IOI's are more unconscious and that makes them harder to fake.
That is also the reason that you should count 3 IOI's before going to next phase.
But first you have learn to see them, before anything else.
[–]Aeon199 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You're not going to get 3 IOIs before you approach, though. Good looking guys maybe. I'm just average.
If that was the case then, taking it literally, I should never approach at all.
The most I ever get is a woman giving me strong eye contact, that happens about once per year these days, due to getting older and losing my youthful good looks.
Maybe you mean some of these IOIs should happen during the approach in that case, it's a different story. I would have to actually talk to them to find out, but I never do, because I feel there's no point (I'm just a big ol' loser, which means I'm bargain bin value essentially and you know the rejection is coming soon as they find out more about me.. no point, in other words.)
[–]JesperS1208 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Give yourself a challenge. Go to a mall, and talk with ten girls.
Don't approach and try to seduce.
Just ask for directions, or get help for a gift for a lady friend who just finishing college.
Then have one joke to tell, and eject...
Sit down after each approach and think what she did that may be an IOI.
When I was training kids(15-30) for pick-up, (me being an old dude 30+), I would start them out easy, Just getting to talk with girls...
Like where is the bathroom.?, what should I buy for my ladyfriend... any thing to talk with a girl.
If you live near any bigger city, they will have a lair, that you can join, and find a wing man... Maybe even one your age, so you can go street or clubbing.
You need to train.
The Only reason to let a girl walk past you, is if you are going to work. Read 10 times a day.
Even Your dear old mother, would be okay with you coming late at a dinner, if you meet a girl.
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Well since you seem to know a good bit about the topic. What about something like this... when I'm out and about during the mid-evening, during a hike on a busy trail... I'll see a woman in the distance, but don't look toward her much. But just before the point at which she walks past me, I glance over to her, and find her looking at me (and sometimes smiling, or they'll say hello.)
I think that might be an IOI since the ball is in her court, you see. Because if they're not interested they can tell from distance.
And lastly, and this might be a bit personal but I asked you before about this, you hadn't replied. How is it you're able to get around your deficits--which on paper, sound pretty significant.
One thing I have going is I'm average looking thin guy with a runner's build--it might be an advantage over the opposite. But I'm also 30+ with no status, no social circle, and so on.
The thing that amazes me is that some folks can have multiple disadvantages and they just try anyway. I wonder if you have thick skin. Do you get harsh rejections sometimes?
[–]JesperS1208 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The last question first... NO, I got Rejection yesterday, from two girls, but I don't invest a lot in a girl, before I have talk for some times with her.
Reject fells bad, if you only has this one chance to meet the girl of your dream. Open 10 sets, and you don't care...
You don't know if she is the girl of your dream, yet.
Set up 3 things the girl has to have, before you invest your hopes and dreams in this girl.
From your text... She need to be sporty, intelligent, and likes computer games... I don't know. ;-)
I opened 2 sets yesterday... there was nobody, but young hot girls running... Boring.
First set I was in +10 minutes, and she ended up with my number.
And the other I was reject within 30 seconds.
Shit happens
Yes, its sounds like your body gives you High Value. And some girls only wants a fuck.boy. (Try making a Tinder profile.)
Social circle, status and other social stuff, is important... if you are planing to marry the girl.
Just say "HI" to the next girl. If she stops and starts to talk... then it is game on.
Pick-up has 3 steps:
DHV. Display high value. Your body and your love of hiking gives you that. (Especially when meeting a girl on a hiking trail...)
Comfort: Find Areas where you have common interest... Like Hiking.
Sex: Because we need to reproduce.... Have One lame sexual joke, just to avoid getting LJBF.
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Erm, does anything change about your advice if I said I was looking more to hook up or make friends (with possibility for benefits)?
I get mixed opinions on this one. I have had some guys (and women) tell me that hook-ups/casual relations are only for one of two groups of men, specifically:
Presuming average looks, the logic goes that if you're in your 30s, the dynamics of interpersonal relations change for a litany of reasons, including the fact that one's audience (since you cannot get women younger than 25, anymore) at that point is going to be single women 25-40 who are all serious about relationships.
It's a troubling thought, since I'm at a late age (mid 30s) where everyone has their shit together but me, and I'm only getting started with women, not looking for some serious chick who wants high quality dating material.
But to answer your question:
She need to be socially awkward, not serious, and likes computer games..
There you go, fixed that for you. That's what I want.. possible?
Yes, its sounds like your body gives you High Value.
I think you read my post too quickly. I said average looking and thin which is not exactly high value. By "runner's build" I meant long distance runner's build (look up photos of these guys, that's me. It's not a popular look!) My only point there was I don't look horrible and I'm healthy as opposed to out of shape--but that does not mean "high value look" by itself. Certainly women who don't like thin guys (which is most of them) are turned off.
Anyway, I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time!
[–]JesperS1208 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
First thing... You are to much in your head. You are thinking about possibilities, that may or may not be truth.
Age
The only time your age is a question, is when you need to get into clubs.
I have 15 - 30+ years old girls (I'm 43) flirting with me.
18 years old girls wants a guy with a little life experience. They don't care about job or his own business. You might just need the love of a girl, to become powerful.
Your looks
Unless you have a big mole on your noose, your looks sounds like the guys, that walks on the run way, or sings song for girls on MTV.
Girls below 25 years, don't ask you for a 5 years plan, of how you will become the riches guy in the world...
They want a slim guy, that is sun-baked from long hikes. ;-)
Today: You have to make a Tinder profile, because that way you can get some feedback from girls, on your looks.
You are not allowed to write me again before you have made a Tinder Profile, and like 50 girls.
[–]Aeon199 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Read through some of the posts in this thread, directed at a 26 year old guy with Asperger's:
https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8vfj0q/im_26_and_i_have_aspergers_im_a_virgin_and_the/
Look at all the "don't bother it's hopeless, pay escorts; get a good career/money first" and tell me I should join Tinder, as a guy in his mid 30s with average looks and a thin build, and no status/money.
What about "reality"? It's pretty harsh, women have unlimited choice in mates and generally only choose the guys who have a lot to offer.
How is it you can be so optimistic, man? That said, I wish I could be more like you, and turn off the self-loathing and doubt.
[–]JimBeamAndCoke2016 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I've read numerous lists of IOI's, many of which are pretty much the same, and the only time I notice any are sometimes during an interaction with a woman I've approached.
Never get any spontaneous ones from random women in public. I think you have to be at a certain level of attractiveness before that happens.
[–]JesperS1208 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
No. You have to pay attention. I'm a obese, (semi)bald, older dude, and girls gives my IOI in my shop, because I'm happy and treat everybody with respected.
Walk down a busy shopping street or a mall, and have a wing-man walk 10 meters behind you, and he will see all the IOI you are getting.
[–]EnvironmentalTwister 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I kinda doubt how true this may be. Any examples that you could share?
[–]JesperS1208 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Have you ever realized a girl was flirting with you, like 1 hour to late.? Like You got all the way home from a party, and sitting on your bed, you remembered something a girl did, that was an IOI.?
It is called Male Pattern Blindness, and you just have to train it away... like I wrote in the first post here.
I have taught pick-up for 5 years, and each times I had a guy "who girls don't gives IOI", I did that walk through a shopping street thing.
Of course a pretty man gets 10X more than me, but they are still there.
[–]JimBeamAndCoke2016 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ok I'm intrigued. What form do IOI's take when walking down the street?
If it's eye contact, I'll tell you now it just doesn't happen. I'm fully aware of what different types of eye contact mean, and none that I get signify an IOI. More like IOD.
That's if you can find anyone to return eye contact, who doesn't have their face buried in their phone!
No. And that is why you need a wingman. Because sometimes the IOI's comes just after you have walked past the girl....
Like the girl has a second delay, before she gives you IOI.... but at that movement you have passed her by, and are looking in another direction.
But it is stuff, like the girl walking into the path you just left, turns towards you, flick her hair, or laugh a little to high... But we "Shaved Monkeys" are already looking at that next girl 50 meters away.
And eye contact is the most difficult to see on the street, because she might only look at you for a second, and you just look at another girl...
The reason why I say Mall or shopping street, is because those girls are not running to their next appointment... they are looking for something nice to wear.
[–]JimBeamAndCoke2016 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How are we supposed to see these signs of interest if they're done after we walk past or behind our backs.
I assume that the more attractive you are, the more overt the IOI will be?
[–]JesperS1208 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That is why your wing man walk 10 meters behind you... He sees the signs, and after 5 minutes you get feedback, and maybe change, so you walk 10 meters behind him.
Yes. The more visible the signs are, and the more frequent they come.
[–]JimBeamAndCoke2016 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What I meant was if these are signs of interest given out by women, in what seems to be a normal occurance, how are guys supposed to act upon receiving them if it happens behind our backs? Walking with a wingman 10 metres behind us is not part of our daily routine.
Yes. The more visible the signs are, and the more frequent they come
What I suspected was the case all along.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are most men bad at spotting IOIs?
Most? There's no data.
I have a friend who says he never gets any interest from women but I still see him get an IOI every 1-2 days.
The overall point is that a lot of guys with lower confidence or low attentiveness, tend to misdiagnose how to look for "IOIs." Or when to look for them.
The problem is, most guys get caught up in trying to look for IOIs before opening.
You only get the real ones after opening, as responses to physical escalation of some kind, which you can only pick up if you stop analyzing and focus on paying attention.
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