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Is projecting confidence and happiness when you're anxious and depressed a false reality and wrong to do? Should I be upfront that I am stressed out about work and it fucks me up?

whocaresguy

January 31, 2017

30 upvotes

/r/seduction

/r/seduction/comments/5ra8l8/is_projecting_confidence_and_happiness_when_youre/

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Post Information

Title	Is projecting confidence and happiness when you're anxious and depressed a false reality and wrong to do? Should I be upfront that I am stressed out about work and it fucks me up?
Author	whocaresguy
Upvotes	30
Comments	19
Date	January 31, 2017 7:08 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5ra8l8/is_projecting_confidence_and_happiness_when_youre/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-projecting-confidence-and-happiness-when-youre.1288054 https://theredarchive.com/post/1288054

Comments

[–]BestOfPUA 23 points24 points25 points 9 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

Hey buddy, I am reading a psychology book that covers this right now.

Let me explain, 80% of what you do and how you feel about your self comes from your subconscious. Although your subconscious has such a huge impact in your life, you are never in control of your subconscious. You subconscious is just the sum of the things you experienced until now.

Did you friends always laugh at you when you were kid? Did your parents never give you enough space to act on your own, so you would never have confidence in your decisions? Did your grand-parents always try to control you and made you feel bad when you did not listen? These are all in your subconscious which you can't directly change. They define who you are!

Fortunately, there is a way to indirectly influence your subconscious by making conscious decisions one after another. Every time, you read a book, you watch a self help video, read seddit, etc. You are adding new material to your subconscious which is piece by piece is changing who you are. In a way, by making conscious decisions today you shape who you are going to be tomorrow. Unfortunately though, the connections in your subconscious mind which you added by reading, watching, etc. are very weak. They will be easily replaced by a single bad interaction if you don't know how to keep them relative.

The strongest connections in your subconscious are made by actions and emotions. This is why "fake it till you make it" works. When you do something today, you are adding very strong link to your subconscious. When you "fake it" after you do an action, you are adding even more stronger emotional link to your subconscious today. Those new links that you keep adding to your subconscious today will define who you are tomorrow. So, fake it till you make it.

The problem with "fake it till you make it" is that, it is very easy to lose your path. It is my understanding that, you also have some stuff going on for you. I would suggest you to see a therapist, read self-help books, workout, surround your self with positive people around you. Otherwise, it is very easy to lose your path. Another thing is that, the areas of your subconscious are linked. If you become good at, let's say lifting or playing chess, then you will realize that you are also becoming good at talking to girls. Success at one part of your life slowly influences your success at other parts of your life.

If you are not doing it already, I would suggest you to start lifting or start martial arts. This will help with many things. First of all, as you start getting good at those you will start feeling better about your self and this will start to materialize as confidence when you are talking to the girls. The other benefit is that, when you are in a lifting class or martial arts class, you are socializing with other people in a context. This is the easiest way to socialize. The final benefit is that, when you do these, you get muscular. Girls like muscular guys a lot.

So start lifting/martial arts. Learn how to take action and fake it until you make it!

[–]whocaresguy 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]kikecasti 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]whocaresguy 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GrapeAyp 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]BestOfPUA 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kel003 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]freddy8 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]kel003 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]deathtone 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]freddy8 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mukituki123 9 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]whocaresguy 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Chiralmaera 25 points26 points27 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]itsDumbledumb 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Goofydoodle 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pornodio 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Kitt_55 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are nervous to the point of stuttering and shaking while talking to a woman, it is better for you tell the woman that you are a bit nervous than to ignore the effect that your behavior is having on her. By verbally acknowledging your nervousness, it will help remove any awkwardness in the interaction. While you may not get points for confidence, you will at least receive some for honesty.

There is some validity to the phrase “just be yourself.” You should avoid becoming incongruent as a result of pretending to be someone that you are not. Incongruence shows women that you are not a truly confident and self-secure person and thus kills attraction. Women will ignore all signals from you if they believe that they are not honest signals. However, if these honest signals are still portraying you as an unattractive man, then of course “just being yourself” is not going to work. You must work to become the best version of yourself. This is done not by changing your interests or passions, but by cultivating a core confidence which will let you freely express your true self via attractive behaviors.

When you are acting congruently, but behaving in a nervous or unattractive manner, then women will label you as that “nice shy guy” and see your “hidden” interest in them as being “cute.” When you are acting incongruently, and thus by definition in an unattractive manner, then women will label you as being “creepy,” “a try-hard,” or “weird.” It is only when you are acting congruently in an attractive manner that women will find you attractive.

-Fundamentals of Female Dynamics (book) by Michael Knight

[–]MindsEvolve 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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