So I had an ex over at my apartment a month ago, after a week of us reconnecting on Instagram and this conversation quickly turned to sex. I could see she was single, so am I and we both have always been “on and off” over the years, so this means I know what she is looking for. She comes over to my place on a Saturday night at 11pm with a bottle of wine, wearing a tube-top with no bra, sweat pants with a thong, she went to a spa that day and got mani/pedi, legs, ass and 🐱 waxxed, and showed up in a good mood. We’re sitting on the couch in my living room having wine and the whole time she is eye fucking me, holding eye contact until I look at her and she knows I noticed, then looks away. Repeatedly. For some reason I never even thought to build tension, escalate off of that tension towards a kiss/sex. It was right there, one or two lines away from the sex of a lifetime. An hour passes by, we hug at the door, and she leaves for the night. That night, she texts me that she’s home, then nothing, no texts for two days. I can see her “pulling back” aka thinking about what she wants to do with us moving forward, processing how she feels about me. She does this everytime. Then, she says “My weekend is ok, been busy. I had a nice time catching up on Saturday but I really need to focus on myself and my own stuff rn”.

On the surface, this looks like a clear-cut rejection after a girl pulls back to assess how she feels about you, doesn’t feel strongly enough, doesn’t wish to move forward and is being really sweet in “letting a guy down softly”. However, when I actually found out what she is going through currently in her life, this excuse began to make sense. She is going through divorce process, only being 6 months separated from her husband, loss of a house, loss of a baby/miscarriage from the stress, mutual friends in the marriage picking sides in the divorce, her reputation being destroyed, losing her security and plan for her future life being evaporated. I know she has a lot going on in her life (literally the most stressful time she will likely ever go through in her entire life), but I still can’t help but feel like she is also not interested and is rejecting me as well, however I did not ask her. What is your guys’ opinion on this scenario, was this so much rejection because I didn’t make a move when I had a chance that night at my apartment? Or is this honestly just that the girl has so much on the go she can’t handle a second meetup or this going anywhere moving foward? Was this a nice excuse for a rejection and there is no interest at all? Or are her life events she is currently facing the reason for this pulling away entirely? Keep in mind we have a ton of history, the attraction is very deep, I’m not questioning that, rather if I messed up because I didn’t make a move. Do I have another shot in the future? Any advice and insight is greatly appreciated.