It's been a couple of months since I started reading seddit and all sorts of resources I found here, changing my mindset, looking at the world a whole new way. It paid off last week when I f-closed a girl for the first time since late 2008, within an hour of meeting her at a party (also first k-close since 2009). Don’t think I can write a good FR since it was pretty textbook stuff; kino-escalation, being cool and in control, and willing to take a chance and accept failure by offering to walk her back to her place (though it might have helped that my place was on the way). Also I think the changes over the last year that I made with my life had far more of an impact.

Just some background info: about a year ago I was looking forward to this big party with friends. I won't go into the specifics, but I will say that after some drama I walked away dejected and feeling totally incompetent at social activity.

I realized I had to go away and become a new and better person. I needed to step out of my comfort zone and see the world and learn new things I never thought I had an interest in.

Some of the many things I did to change myself over the last year:

  • I broke off association with people whom I deemed were inhibiting my potential, and did something I thought I’d never do: take some salsa and swing dancing classes.
  • For many years I hadn’t paid attention to sports and didn’t care who won what game or championship; I started watching and reading about things like the NBA, college basketball, etc. and hanging out with people who went to bars to watch the game over a beer.
  • I got it through my head that it’s a dog eat dog world out there and if I wasn’t willing to stand up for myself or the weaker guy, probably nobody would. Before, I was quite averse to confrontational situations.
  • I’ve spent way too many years as a moocher and consumer without being a provider. Now I adopt a more of a provider mindset, anything from buying presents for my family and friends, to letting people crash at my place, to helping others learn new things that will help them for years to come. Also became way more self-sufficient in the process.
  • I’ve got the “don’t give a fuck about” mindset pretty down for the most part. I’m not stupid about it or anything but it helps when I’m worrying that I’m about to make a fool of myself or might crash and burn at an endeavor. But now I’m more than willing to fail and try again. That challenge where your goal is to fail? Works wonders.

This f-close was great and all, but I’m not willing to let myself be complacent with just this; I still got a lot of improving left to do and a lot of new things to try. But I’m ready and look forward to adversity.

tl;dr totally crash and burn at a party, change myself and my outlook on life, a year later f-close and break a long losing streak