Maintaining Attraction

rich_god · 2019-10-30T14:52:54+00:00

Ask yourself that question : why did she need to tell you that ? Why did she feel like she had to send you this text ?

Unless she is totally projecting, it seems like she was given an implicit choice of either :

You're best suited fo each other (and I guess that means having a relationship)
You're not best suited for each other (and that means the end of whatever was happening between you two)

By making her make such a binary choice, you killed the potentiality of this being something. You used a label ("relationship") and something prescriptive and not descriptive.

You were not "going with the flow". If you were, such a text would not make sense. "Suited to each other" only make sense if there are expectations. If there is no expectation she would have told you "hey, I didn't feel good at that moment because this and this". There, it means you were asking (consciously or subconsciously) for the relationship to be something else than what it was.

People are not gloves. They don't suit, unless you try to put them into a box, into an object. You won't suit with anyone, you can only share an experience with someone. Next time take a step back, breath, and take the relationship as it is. Don't make her feel like has to commit to something until she is committing by herself. Deal with your part, your feelings, your desire, your expectations, your needs, and she will deal with hers.

As long as she doesn't feel like you're trying to reach a destination, but you're deeply in the moment, the attraction won't fade.

Massap24 · 2019-10-30T12:51:10+00:00

I see your issue is definitely over investment, failure to maintain multiple women, overthinking your actions and oneitis. You need to work on this shit, if you had multiple women you wouldn’t be thinking about why you lost this one so much. You also wouldn’t care that she moved on. Get more options and you will naturally improve these things.

axe122 · 2019-10-30T16:30:29+00:00

But the book how to be a 3% man by Corey Wayne, it’s all about gauging their interest levels and more about what not to do and how to avoid supplicating behavior. This book helped me out a lot with that issue, I listened to the audiobook a multiple times on my commute to work and at the gym till the stuff sank in and realizing that doing nice things for them is actually what’s turning them off helps a lot, it also talks about not texting and calling so much. It has very little info on pickup and is more focused on the point when she’s already slightly interested in you and going out with you.

Xazax310 · 2019-10-30T16:58:27+00:00

"making her feel like she was the only girl for me"

I made this mistake, I think that was probably what did it in for you. I was casually seeing a girl(very pretty best one I've been with) and she would directly TELL ME I should date/see other women and "She sucks". I did the fucking BETA/Choud thing and said the same you did "your only girl for me blah blah" and same shit happened to me after a while. "I'm distancing myself from you" she told me after ignoring my calls/texts for day+ .

Correct Response(for me): Yeah you fucking suck (Kiss her) or True, there's plenty of girls out there I might go find one tonight after were done(cocky/joking attitude).

The social condition we have is that "women want to feel like there special and the only ones" the TRUTH is you have to make it seem(at least feel) like you could drop them right then and there and FIND another girl quickly. This forces them to KEEP YOU because they don't want to lose you.

Sorry about your loss brother RIP. Time for you to get back into the GAME.

Title	Maintaining Attraction
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	October 30, 2019 11:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dp5ldv/maintaining_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/maintaining-attraction.1482537 https://theredarchive.com/post/1482537

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