Maybe the biggest reason why you get anxious after reading dating advice is because most dating advices treats women as enemies.

2021-02-04T19:22:08+00:00

A lot of dating advice here seems very adversarial and transactional. That works... to a point. But if you're looking for any sort of fulfilling connection, be it FWB, friends, relationship, whatever... a lot of the advice here won't nurture that.

Being the best version of yourself, practicing confidence, etc. are like, universally good pieces of advice. But the implicit assumption underlying a lot of the advice here is that women have this treasure (their c*nt) that they don't want to give up and you have to trick them into giving up. Um, no, women by and large want to have sex. They don't see having sex with someone as diminishing their value, by and large - that's antiquated, 19th century perspective. We have contraception. We can "mate" with whatever guy we want, because we don't have to get stuck with his kid (unless we want to). If you are an ass and we figure that out afterward... it's still your fault for being an ass. We all do the best we can judging character, can't win 'em all. Or, if you're like me, you knowingly sleep with idiots because they're pretty and you know how to kick 'em to the curb when they get annoying.

revente · 2021-02-04T20:43:31+00:00

Enemies? Not at all. It's all about buyer/seller dynamic.

Men are not competing against women but they are competing against each other. Women have all the power, and as buyers have extra short attention span.

Men need to stack things in their favour and avoid stuff that works againt them.

Main-Willingness1140 · 2021-02-05T16:24:26+00:00

Hey, what you're talking about is not "this place", it's "pua".

Pickup artists are an unscientific group that ignores the principle of reciprocity. They see women... as objects of conquest and objects to be treated lowly.

There are several pickup artists here. But they are a minority.

They are also psychopaths and scammers.

Look out. For your success!

ugglygirl · 2021-02-04T19:12:02+00:00

Seduction is synonymous with connection. Think of it that way forever and you will get both laid and loved.

Novel_Transition_663 · 2021-02-07T11:10:00+00:00

The only people who think this way and curate this point of view are the ones consistently failing shit tests and feeling that if they’re smart and cunning enough they can wiggle their way out of being shit tested by women, which is near impossible.

MartMillz · 2021-02-05T02:36:19+00:00

It's not an enemy dynamic if you are sincere and open to dating that person. Of course, sincere dates are much harder to procure than dates where the guy wants sex but not a relationship. In those instances there is a sort of predator dynamic at play.

BensonInFL · 2021-02-04T22:18:25+00:00

why I get so anxious reading dating advices

No.. most guys are usually anxious BEFORE reading dating advice.... they are looking to reduce their anxiety by knowing what to do....otherwise why read it in the first place?

They treat women as enemies

No, they treat women as a goal, or an achievement. This isn't done to objectify women per se, but its a means-to-an-end because these guys have no social awareness or experience, are shy, but many are into video games, or D&D, scoring high on SAT ... or whatever... So they take their existing framework of knowing how to 'achieve an objective' and overlay this 'tactical' strategy that they know and are not scared of, onto girls. Whether it is moral or not can be debated (hopefully in another sub), but out of many different methods, it has proven to be most effective.

All this dating advice is just training wheels because once the guy has sex with a girl (or maybe even before that), he's still the same needy guy and girls have excellent social awareness, they tend to discover the inconsistencies in his behavior and break up with him. The cycle will repeat for a few more times until real inner game is developed and the guy builds self confidence and is able to maintain a relationship, and probably also discover other qualities he wants in a girl other than looks. I would argue that this approach in learning to be a man is better than the alternative, which is having other people tell him stupid advice to 'just be himself' and 5yrs later he has wasted precious time and become more bitter.

-B

Title	Maybe the biggest reason why you get anxious after reading dating advice is because most dating advices treats women as enemies.
Author	Novatonavila
Upvotes	21
Comments	7
Date	February 4, 2021 6:56 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lcmzsd/maybe_the_biggest_reason_why_you_get_anxious/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/maybe-the-biggest-reason-why-you-get-anxious-after.1509394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1509394

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