Misconception about seduction

General_Sedditary · 2016-07-13T09:56:42+00:00

By no means am I high level or anything, but I think you spark an interesting discussion, so I would like to chip in.

Particularly that second part..ehhh, I don't know. Yes, you should signal attraction I would say. However, I find that this attraction has to be earned. Being attracted just like that makes you seem low-value I would argue.

The way I handle that in practical terms, personally, is with a sort of back and forth. I will signal my attraction sometimes, especially if she does something that I like, like if she says something cute, touches me. Other times I will then go to the "why do you think you are good enough for me?" mode. Sort of a back and forth.

This is, of course, just my approach, and it is very possible that others have a much much better one.

panamalcohol · 2016-07-13T11:07:20+00:00

Idk. I know a good number of dudes who are pathetic in both categories mentioned above but still pull women no problem. If it works for you though.

Petra_Ichor · 2016-07-13T15:06:25+00:00

She gives you babies, you both pass your genes, you ensure her protection and survival, everyone wins.

This is reductionist to the point of being total nonsense. What about our attraction to the "rouge traveler" type- the kind of guy who won't stick around long enough to "protect" us long-term, but will add genetic diversity to our gene pool to produce stronger babies? You think our attraction to every exotic dude is based on protection benefits alone? Pfft

Muppetmeister · 2016-07-13T10:47:36+00:00

Yet then there's the issue of how to define attraction. Sure, protection and all that is good. But remember: different strokes for different folks. Attraction is very subjective. Social psychology does a better way of explaining attraction, particular group behavior. It's reductionist to narrow it down to biology.

jawsboreslaws · 2016-07-13T15:36:31+00:00

There was a time in which Aluminium was the most precious of metals in existence. The reason for this was the extraction process - during that time before electricity existed, the only aluminium that was available came from rocks being struck by lightining, and I believe one of Napoleon's wives most prized posessions was an aluminium necklace.

We now use it to make oven trays.

The moral of the story is that concealing intentions works to keep interest where they may in fact have been none.

Ninon knew that men and women are very different, but when it comes to seduction they feel the same: deep down inside, they often sense when they are being seduced, but they give in because they enjoy the feelings of being led along. It is a pleasure to let go, and to allow the other person to detour you into a strange country. Everything in seduction, however, depends on suggestion. You cannot announce your intentions or reveal them directly in words. Instead you must throw your targets off the scent. To surrender to your guidance they must be appropriately confused. You have to scramble your signals--appear interested in another man or woman (the decoy), then hint at being interested in the target, then feign indifference, on and on. Such patterns not only confuse, they excite. - R. Green, Law 3, 48 Laws of Power.

To this end I agree and disagree with you because your closing statement is contradictory. There is value in stating attraction, but stating attraction isn't stating intention, it's being direct and forward. I don't think going up to a girl and opening with 'I'm going to sleep with you' will work without some spectacular circumstances.

SinSlayer · 2016-07-13T18:40:32+00:00

Not sure if I qualify as a High Level expert, but...

While you're not "wrong", you're not really correct either.

First, subscribe to a belief that there is nothing wrong with letting girl know you're attracted to her. The problem is in the who and how. A HB10 KNOWS you're attracted to her. EVERYONE'S attracted to her. So saying things like "You're pretty." or "I think you're hot" is literally telling her something she's already heard a thousand times. But looking at her and smiling and maybe throwing in a cocky head shake... that may be new and different and intriguing.

Conversely, the awkward, shy, HB7... she may not here how pretty or attractive she is on a daily basis so saying it may make her melt in your arms. IMO, its never WHAT you say, but always HOW you say it.

Second, your two points of CAN and WILL he protect me are only a fraction of what attraction boils down to. Women interact with men who elicit strong emotions in them. The stronger the emotions, the greater the interactions. Thoughts of CAN and WILL in terms of protection only occur when considering LTR's of the future of the relationship, and believe it or not, not every women (and IMO, very few) start off with long term thoughts. There are about are a dozen "Attraction Checkpoints" you cross before you start to consider things like "security". Will it come up eventually, sure, but its not the meat and potatoes of attraction.

Finally, men and women have evolved a lot more than you think. Many women are more independent and don't "require" male dominance or protection. They require companionship. They require emotional stability. They require sexual gratification. And yes, they require a level of financial and maybe even physical security. But again, these are "End game" aspects and not always starting points.

Bottomline, women want different things from different men. Don't assume that every female want's/need's a neanderthal with a club big enough to beat away the wolves to make her feel attraction.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-07-14T03:51:41+00:00

There is a thing in the seduction community that says that you have to hide your intentions,

Meh. Kind of, but not really. Not with the veterans.

There's a lot of rhetoric like this..... a holdover from the Mystery days, still circulating amongst the newbies.

that the girl cannot truly know that you like her until you have sex with her which is absolutely false.

This I've never heard. I'd agree it's false. However, it is true that there are aspects about a relationship that one cannot discover until the morning after or months/weeks in.

Some of those things one discovers can be deal breakers.

As for the rest...... I disagree with the apparent caregiver paradigm being presented here. It's certainly an aspect that matters to varying degrees, to different people.

But it's not the only aspect.

It's an interesting conversation, I suppose. I guess if one wants to play games with semantics, one could frame a lot of aspects of attraction under the umbrella of "taking care" of someone.

COAEric · 2016-07-14T04:39:41+00:00

I know plenty of poor scrawny dudes with quality girls.

bigtony423 · 2016-07-14T08:50:56+00:00

Plot Twist: the chick you're trying to pick up is a feminist and more secure about her ability to defend herself then most guys on seddit.

Plot Twist: not all female are weak and vulnerable. Just the ones who lack confidence or were taught by their parents and society that the male species is the dominant race when in all actuality women and men are equals and more or less are attracted to each other by a slew of the same things. Congruency, Confidence, and having your shit together.

Imgod1986 · 2016-07-19T18:28:56+00:00

For me it all depends in social value, if you are higher value than her then you can show your intention directly, if you are lower value then you need to hide your intention, build value and then show your intention

Title	Misconception about seduction
Author	Jacob_961
Upvotes	0
Comments	13
Date	July 13, 2016 9:47 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4smcc9/misconception_about_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/misconception-about-seduction.1409529 https://theredarchive.com/post/1409529

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