My club experience....

I went to a dance club for the second time tonight. Couldnt get any friends to go so I went alone. I had some trouble dancing at first but I eventually got pretty comfortable. I was a lot more comfortable than the first time I went. I danced a lot better..... I think? There were like 3 occasions where people drew attention to me saying "hey hey hey" or "ooohhh". Idk if this was because they thought I was dancing well or if they were making fun of me. I asked girls to dance for the first time too. I got rejected like 8 times. Only one girl danced with me (like actual dancing not grinding). She was a 10 but i couldnt keep it interesting/took it too slow and it kinda died out. A couple minutes later another suave guy came up and took her by the hand and got to dancing. There were actually two occasions where I sort of danced with girls. Both times they noticed my dancing and were either impressed or making fun of me. One girl started dancing with me. The other pulled me into her group of friends. So i started dancing with them. Both times I asked one of them to dance. One of them just rejected me. When i offered my hand to the other she shook it and kept dancing. Wtf is that? On one hand I felt like I gained a lot of confidence. I was able to dance pretty freely. And rejection was a lot easier to take than I thought. Im surprised I perservered after being rejected the first time. On the other hand i got rejected by all but one person who I asked to dance. So no grinding or making out :(. I feel like such a perv. One time i tapped a girl on the shoulder and her friend scolded me and told me not to touch her. I tried going up and grinding on one girl and she pulled my hands off her. Idk. I took rejection decently but i feel like i made them uncomfortable. I sorta feel bad. Some questions:

This spanish song came on and I was moving my hips to the song a lot and I fear it looked kinda feminine. One guy pointed me out tonhis gf yelling "oohhh". What do girls think about a guy who moves his hips a lot while dancing?
Were they making fun of my dancing or did they like it. Idk about this. Its really bugging me.
Whats the best way to ask a girl to dance? I tried offering my hand, tapping them on the shoulder, and just going up and grunding on them. I got rejected with all of these. I suspect I should just dance around them until they notice me. That sort of worked. Again though Idk if they actually liked my dancing or were just teasing me.
How much success should I expect at a club?
Do other races dislike white guys? Id say the demographic was mostly latino. Some asians. Some black people. Im white. Ive heard some girls say they wouldnt date a white guy. So idk if my race plays into it.
I look pretty young for my age. Will that cause problems? Im 19 but Ive been told I look 16.
Any other advice or recommendations?

I should also mention pretty much all of the people I approached were 8+/10. I think im pretty average looking. Its possible that they were just out of my league I suppose.

[–]G-Dalf 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Gonna start by saying take everything I recommend with a grain of salt because I am by no means a good dancer, but I have done quite well picking up on the dance floor.

First, good on you for going out there alone. It's only your second time so don't beat yourself up, just think about the experience and lessons u can take from this and keep building.

Second, and I'm assuming this is one of your typical clubs with loud music and a dance floor, I think dancing should be used more as a tool to picking up, not the main piece. What I mean by this is if you're on the dance floor the whole night and using dancing as the only way to try and pickup, i think u have an uphill battle unless you're really fuckin good at it and a smooth guy overall.

I think u should be taking some breaks from the dance floor (from the sounds of your post, u were dancing most of the night) and work in more traditional approaches, then use dancing to your advantage. For example, hang around the bar for a bit and strike up conversations with girls, then after building some comfort ask if they'd like to dance for a bit? Some might like the idea, some might not be interested. This builds some trust either way.

If you're already on the dance floor, it's best to get some type of IOI before going right for the hand grab or grinding - are u sparking some eye contact from a girl, or is there a girl slowly moving closer to u? Those are the ones to go for. But again, if you're on the d-floor the whole night, and especially if girls are seeing that you're alone most of the time and/or being rejected, it won't help your case which is why u should be moving around, taking breaks from dancing, etc.

Hope this helps!

[–]idontdrinksoda42[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Its definitely too loud to talk on the dancefloor or at the bar. There was a rooftop area that I probably should have tried. The last time i went i spent too much time up there to avoid dancing. I didnt approach anybody though. I guess i was avoiding it in order to dance more this time. There are three rooms and i did switch between them every 15 minutes or so. I probably should have approached up there. Ive never really tried approaching girls i dont know except last night while dancing. I imagine being able to talking to them makes it a lot easier. Its so hard to communicate on the dancefloor. Its all body language. Im probably better at communicating with words. And youre right. I should have waited for eye contact and getting closer to me and stuff. When i did dance with girls the two times it was after they made eye contact and smiled and made an effort to include me. I guess im just a little unsure about whether they were making fun of me or not. Like i mentioned i tried to reach my hand out to make the dancing a bit more physical with one girl and she just shook it. Maybe i just wasnt clear enough? I got kinda nervous once i was in the group with the other girls. I probably rushed asking the girl to dance. Also one of their guy friends started to sorta push me out of the circle. So i left.

[–]G-Dalf 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	My club experience....
Author	idontdrinksoda42
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	April 14, 2018 4:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8c8hxc/my_club_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-club-experience.1444831 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444831

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