What to do when other guys start trying to dance with the girl youre dancing with and shes open to it?

2018-07-16T03:33:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ethical_pa · 2018-07-16T04:34:06+00:00

Just act like you can walk away at any time and be ready to do so.

What you did was probably fine. You shouldn't act angry or butt hurt or judgmental. Just... Meh. Whatever. There are plenty of good looking girls. Not that many hot AND interesting ones though.

It depends what you are looking for too. If just to get laid, then you acted appropriately and probably still had a chance to pull her. There's no real loyalty for a girl in a club environment. So there's that to take into consideration too.

2018-07-16T04:16:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Uncle_Charnia · 2018-07-16T04:17:47+00:00

When you are confident, it doesn't matter. You can let go of one effortlessly and move on to the next. Possessiveness is for men who lack confidence.

scaredofshaka · 2018-07-16T08:20:55+00:00

It's a show of confidence to let her dance with others without feeling threatened. Speak with other girls yourself and get back to her later. Obviously if she plays that shit all night long she is not worth your time.

A lot of girls are paranoid about guys turning possessive or controlling on them, so sometimes they'll just test for that. I think it's equally bad to get jealous as it is to throw in the towel and walk away.

xx-Rain_Maker-xx · 2018-07-16T06:24:45+00:00

You just take her home, fuck her, and dump her. She has no relationship value. If the girl is interested in you, she will ignore the other guys and will give her attention to you.

TheManWithThreePlans · 2018-07-16T07:12:54+00:00

Dancefloor game weak af. Do that if you're taking a girl to a club as a fun experience. Not when you're meeting new women.

On the dancefloor is where a chick's hypergamy is turned up to 11. Your SMV is low, while her's is high (even if she isn't even all that hot). All around, not the best position to game in. It works, but there are far more efficient ways.

zbf · 2018-07-16T10:38:20+00:00

Disagree with most of these comments.

The dancefloor is to have fun, and to have fun is to be out of your own head and be seen as someone of value. Leaving the dancefloor because a girl is having fun with everyone and not just you is a horrible decision on your part. While they are dancing you're being salty by yourself on the side? Im not saying making out with multiple people the same night is ok, but dancing isn't always a flirting move.

You should have continued to have fun on the dancefloor, if she's dancing with other guys go find some other girls then, hell even sandwich her with the other guys, just have fun and stop being so territorial.

TonySoprano420 · 2018-07-16T15:14:17+00:00

"I later found out she made out with 2 other guys there."

Get your mouth checked homey.

SugarMyChurros · 2018-07-16T13:04:59+00:00

The walk away is a very underrated move in all interractions. Let's her know a number of things in one fell shot. You're not desperate. You're the prize, not her.
She made out with 2 other guys but you left with her and made out with her, isnt that proof enough??
She sounds like someone that could possibly key your car so proceed with caution.

johnhitlerpizza · 2018-07-16T08:17:21+00:00

I let them, especially if they're try-hards. This just makes me look better.

danielson1987 · 2018-07-16T09:12:08+00:00

it depends what you want. if you want someone to invest in, no chance. if you want some fun for the night, you gotta accept that she's likely to be enjoying the attention of other men.

boy_named_su · 2018-07-16T05:44:07+00:00

Go chat up a hottie at the bar

coldbrew18 · 2018-07-16T15:03:53+00:00

I spun around and started dancing with him. He backed off.

Jaereth · 2018-07-16T15:20:11+00:00

When the other guy approaches you watch the girl.

If she shrugs him off and stays on you, keep dancing.

If she turns to him, or does any receptive body language, walk away. I don't dance with other dudes, and that's a pretty accepted cultural norm for hetero guys. If she goes with another your dance is over.

Don't be childish or look butthurt about it, but also don't try to via for her attention or "win her back" that would be worst case.

Depending on where your at, my advice would be after you walk away just go open the hottest girl in the bar or start dancing with some other unaccompanied girl on the floor. Both show her you're not beholden to her attention and can easily find more company.

Rinkinz · 2018-07-16T16:43:53+00:00

What you want to do is walk away, women should chase you, you should not be chasing them. Be masculine.

Be confident and find another dance partner, if she had any interest in you the fact that you were able to walk away will intrigue her.

MIERDAPORQUE · 2018-07-16T18:40:39+00:00

Unless you took her to the club and y’all are there together, it’s nothing to catch feelings over. Even still, I wouldn’t even call her out on that. Just get what you want from her and KIM.

If you met her there, she’s there to have fun. You should see her hands were full and go meet someone while you are there.

hurennn · 2018-07-16T04:50:44+00:00

Some girls are just massive fucking sluts/attention whores. You just need to accept that, and no amount of game is going to keep her loyal to you. You reacted how you should have, and at that point you just need to decide if you want to have sex with that slut.

Personally, I probably would have just ditched her at this stage in my life because I have enough consistent sex to where fucking her would just make me feel bad about myself. But if I was on a dry spell, I would have done the same thing you did.

Sluts are sluts, they’re good for one thing.

2018-07-16T15:41:38+00:00

You sound young and being jealous of a girl you don't even know. She's a club thot, treat her that way and don't waste a lot of time trying to figure her out.

Walterwhiteishere · 2018-07-16T07:41:01+00:00

Me personally would of walked off and that was it I wouldn't of gone back. But with me I dont like one night stands or just go out to get laid, just not the kind of guy I am, I would rather date a girl. But as others have said, if you just wanted to get laid then whatever. Does it really matter she danced with somebody else if that's all you wanted from her? Did you get it? If so why this question, she was just a slut looking for attention anywhere she could get it.

dirkdiggleruk99 · 2018-07-16T11:27:32+00:00

haha she is playing with you dude

forseti_ · 2018-07-17T01:02:24+00:00

When other guy march into your set it means from the outside it doesn't look like it's on/she is your girlfriend. Maybe you look like the average chode trying to get laid.

The other problem is the girl doesn't see you as so high value compared to the other guys. You are just the guy she is dancing with right now and you are easily replaced. (She made out with other guys too.) - You give her too much validation.

What you did good was you were the last man standing.

My advice would be, have less active game. Just be around her, talk to her friends, be man to woman but don't escalate like mad. (If this were your girlfriend would you be constantly all over her, or would you be more chill and just spend time with her?) You don't need to make out with her in the club to pull her. I would even say it lowers your chances when you make out in the club because once you pull then she knows where the journey goes. Not every girl is instantly cool with it.

And for the people in this thread blaming the girl for having fun, making out with different guy, wtf? You can easily prevent that by keeping her investing in you not the other way around.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-08-18T03:11:21+00:00

Had this earmarked for comment but got busy, so here are some delayed comments, FWIW:

1

What to do when other guys start trying to dance with the girl youre dancing with and shes open to it?

Depends.

In MY situation, if it's someone who came with me, that won't be happening, or if it did, anyone who gets that far with me is someone I trust not to go over the line.

If it is someone I'm working on who I just met, it still wouldn't faze me because dancing isn't sex. It's fun and playful. Now if she's grinding hard into some dudes hips and grabbing the back of his neck and getting within kissing distance, than that's one thing.

Simply dancing with dudes, isn't an issue, though.

2

This happened to me a while ago at a club. As soon as the they started dancing together i ditched her (cause fuck that im not gonna watch her dance with some other guy) and came back like 5 min later.

This was a heavily insecure response. It sounds like she was just dancing casually, not getting real heated or close or anything like that. Unless you're leaving a lot out here.

3

By then she was like "where were you?!" And wanted to dance again. I ended up leaving with her and making out with her but idk. I later found out she made out with 2 other guys there. Was my response appropriate? Any other suggestions?

Ah, well there we go. That makes more sense. She really was playing the field. And yet slightly wanting you more.

Not a big contender there if she's spreading herself around like that, unless you were just looking for casual, in which case, not a big deal.

VelociraptorReptar · 2018-07-16T16:46:15+00:00

Get angry at the bitch. And make her see how it feels by doing the same or buying another girl a drink and sparking up a conversation. If she doesn’t stop being receptive then you know she’s a hoe and leave her at the venue and say it’s not going to work out. Okay hard to get and if she does return asking for forgiveness make sure you don’t give in easily and that allows you power to set standards from that point moving forward. Like a boss.

purpledad · 2018-07-16T13:20:43+00:00

Don't give it any value. You have to not give af. Leave, come back, continue the rendezvous, then change the location and take her somewhere else. It's not like this is long term.

claw09 · 2018-07-16T15:39:56+00:00

She's having fun. Just dance it out or find another girl or bro to have fun with. Don't wait for her to have fun. Enjoy yourself and then, if you're not doing something you consider more enjoyable, go back and dance with her when she finds you.

It's not a big deal. Part of knowing your worth is that you know that people want to have fun with you, not the other way around.

mydorkynerd · 2018-07-16T09:57:13+00:00

Omg over analyzing. I wouldn’t wanna dance with you either

recyclablebanthas · 2018-07-16T17:41:16+00:00

1

What to do when other guys start trying to dance with the girl youre dancing with and shes open to it?

At that moment, it comes down to you being clear with yourself about what you're really after in that situation.

If you're truly looking for casual encounters, it shouldn't matter at all. It's not like dancing is a marriage commitment and the fact that someone is having fun, in a way that you'd honestly like to be having fun, shouldn't be bothering you. People don't own each other.
If, on some level, you're more after something serious, then a girl of interest who is open to more than one person at a time, is a situation that will be undesirable.

But in any case, you shouldn't have to "do" anything. If she's into you really, casually or seriously, you won't need to compete with others for her attention.

2

This happened to me a while ago at a club. As soon as the they started dancing together i ditched her (cause fuck that im not gonna watch her dance with some other guy) and came back like 5 min later.

Absolutely your prerogative! Walk if something really doesn't suit you.

But this does make it seem as though you were a smidge more attached to the outcome than you should have been. Unless you're looking for a serious relationship. In which case, why on Earth would you look for such a thing at a club?

3

By then she was like "where were you?!" And wanted to dance again. I ended up leaving with her and making out with her but idk.

You're describing a situation where you probably made yourself artificially more attractive by playing hard to get. And the fact that you were probably a bit angry, might have added some drama to the mix.

If you're ever looking for something serious, just bear in mind that doing things like this isn't sustainable or healthy to engage in if you're wanting a relationship.

4

I later found out she made out with 2 other guys there. Was my response appropriate? Any other suggestions?

On one level, you should do what feels right for you.

But if it really bothers you that someone made out with other people or even had sex, before they did so with you, or while they're seeing you, then it shouldn't really matter to you, IF you're legitimately seeking something casual.

If it does bother you, then something isn't congruent here and you might want to search your feelings/thoughts to figure out what's going on.

5

Just leave/find other dance partner and ignore the bitch.

We have to rise above double standards and negativity like this.

If some dude was juggling girls on the dance floor...... if it was us and girls were competing over us and multiple girls were making out with us on the dance floor, we'd feel like a million bucks.

She's not a "bitch" for doing something we'd do. And it wouldn't make us an asshole, either.

In both cases, you have someone doing hedonistic things and others joining in. The real problem is when someone joining in, actually wants something else (like one on one attention), instead of what's happening (sharing someone with others), but continues to compromise and accept the unwanted situation, in the hopes of getting the other thing they want. When they should just move on to the next and stop being desperate.

jakkaroo · 2018-07-16T16:48:51+00:00

I would high five the other guy to show dominance through friendliness.

dinnerwithfunions · 2018-07-16T14:45:21+00:00

Lol I would’ve dipped and told her to catch a cab/Uber home. If she’s so socially stupid that she can’t realize she’s being disrespectful toward you why would you want to maintain that relationship? She sounds like a self centered garbage human.

Title	What to do when other guys start trying to dance with the girl youre dancing with and shes open to it?
Author	idontdrinksoda42
Upvotes	108
Comments	58
Date	July 16, 2018 3:14 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8z7ili/what_to_do_when_other_guys_start_trying_to_dance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-do-when-other-guys-start-trying-to-dance.1450001 https://theredarchive.com/post/1450001

Comments