My dilemma as a newbie

NapalmOverdos3 · 2015-10-15T20:38:13+00:00

Find what fits you. We're all different as people and therefore use different means to talk to girls/people in general. I'm a good looking guy, but no where near model status. I tell jokes instead because I'm funny and enjoy making people (and most of all myself) laugh. Sure, there are things we could all do like be more confident and be comfortable with who you are as a person. I know who I am now and it's made everything better for me. I go around and tell jokes and generally be someone others want to be around because I carry a high energy and keep the mood light. Then there are guys who are smooth as butter and that works for them. Nothing against those guys, what they do works so more power to them. However, I've found what works for me and I like that. There's no be all end all advice out there, you need to pick and choose what you like and who you want to be. Most of all, just have some fun.

Go out and enjoy yourself.

It's about you, so put yourself first. Go out with no expectations and you'll always be pleasantly surprised. I like to go out and have fun by not having an agenda like "I'm going to score the hottest chick in the room." I find people I like and those who like me. Most of all, I go out to entertain myself. If I'm genuinely having fun people will gravitate toward you and join in on the fun. Don't be too serious about things and just relax, you'll pick it up with some practice. So, go and practice, find what works and what doesn't. But above all else, have fun and make sure you actually can agree with who you are/becoming. If you don't like what you're doing, don't do it, and try something else. You'll find your way.

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-10-15T21:32:20+00:00

There is a lot of information out there, lots of it contradictory. And for the most part, the information that works is counterintuitive. But that makes sense. A lot of guys in seddit (like me) came here because it became obvious our usual ways of interacting with women were not working. So we had to learn a different way.

Ultimately, the true test is what works in practice. You have to try out what you learn. Lots of times, useful practical ideas will fail at first, because you have to learn how to apply them correctly.

So that is why seddit exists. If you learn some ideas, you can always ask, and look for information from guys who have obviously tested the ideas in the real world.

the_modern · 2015-10-15T22:41:04+00:00

Go out and start talking to women. Then you can zero in on what your particular issues are - maybe you can talk to women easily but there's no tension. Maybe women react negatively when you get sexual. Then look for someone who speaks to your experience. In terms of false information - go try something out, and if it works, do it.

And accept that occasionally this advice will shoot you in the foot. Happens to everyone

TearsofSoyyy · 2015-10-16T07:12:01+00:00

be yourself!!! this doesnt mean stay 100% within your comfort zone but this also doesnt mean be an asshole just because some guy on the internet says being an asshole gets him laid. its pretty easy to see through the fronts guys put on to pick up girl lolll its much nicer when a guy is just genuinely interested/attracted to you and strikes up a pleasant and interesting conversation

TheXXL · 2015-10-16T07:21:16+00:00

How do I sift through the good and bad advice? A lot of times I'll be reading a highly upvoted post that sounds very logical and informative, but when I scroll down to the comment section, every now and then there will be a person who claims that OP is wrong and is spreading false information.

This is the problem with human interaction, there is no definitive right or wrong, it depends highly on many factors that are different for every situation and person. When someone posts his opinion, and lets be honest, most of the time it is nothing more than that, it can be something that works for said person, but it does not work for another person.

The ugly truth is: you have to try things out. You will fail, over and over and over again. But with some things you will succeed and integrate it into your normal behaviour, maybe even spread the word about it in a manner that implies you have found the holy grail and everyone else is wrong. The value comes from the different approaches to things, from different perspectives, you could call it inspiration rather than hard facts. So my advice is to read what you can, make your own idea of things and for the love of god, try things out. Get practice, then you will get a feeling for what works and what not.

Title	My dilemma as a newbie
Author	Neoking
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	October 15, 2015 8:24 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3owheq/my_dilemma_as_a_newbie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-dilemma-as-a-newbie.1395998 https://theredarchive.com/post/1395998

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