My first approach (terrible)

LaViidaLocaa · 2016-12-23T18:01:13+00:00

First of all, congrats on actually opening her. It can be a pain when starting out, but the important thing is you made the first step, it doesn't matter how terrible you think it was.

My advice:

Next time you open like this, try to not say "I don't know", but give an actual reason (even if it's made up), as it makes you sound more well-rounded or at least like someone who reads a lot. Many girls are avid readers and thus are happy to hear such advice (again, even if it's made up, though watch out of course).
You continued well with the follow-up (where she came from)
Don't try to abort mission asap when you hear "boyfriend", just continue the talk for a short while (especially when you're beginning). Get the outcome independent mindset and just ease yourself with just trying to find out who she is as a person.
Lastly, it's normal to be nervous, it takes practice. You made the first step and I hope you'll continue to do so.

balkoth666 · 2016-12-24T03:58:27+00:00

But at the end of the day it didn't matter one bit even though it sucked. Moral is you have nothing to lose by flirting with girls. Keep doing it until you find it boring and you will have improved your game.

cedric93 · 2016-12-23T19:12:10+00:00

Félicite toi d'y être aller car il faut beaucoup d'audace et de courage pour le faire. Persiste, dans quelques temps ta peur se réduira considérablement.

MindsEvolve · 2016-12-23T18:53:02+00:00

So, you're French and what country are you in? What is your overall strategy? How many dates do you get from online dates, social circle, meetups, and cold approaching?

_TurnuptheSun_ · 2016-12-23T23:21:24+00:00

You did a really good job opening her. Sure it was awkward, but who is judging you here? The girl certainly didn't. The only person judging you here is you. The best way to get over this is to do as many approaches as possible. When i was starting out I tried to do four approaches in about an hour, every day before work. I always found that after the first two, which where always awkward because I was in my head, my nerves settled and I started caring less about the interactions, making it easier to do multiple approaches.

As for the interactions themselves, focus on keeping it light and playful. Don't let the girls reaction affect the way you present yourself - your aim is to be a fun, carefree guy who doesn't really care about the outcome. If you occupy that mindset, the girl is more likely to be receptive to you. As for what to talk about, just say whatever comes into your head. Your aim here is to have fun in the interaction. So yes, tell jokes, bust balls, and ask questions if you feel like asking them. Have a look at this video for example -see how relaxed the guy is? Emulating that frame of mind will get you a long way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIrbuwUw6aI One other thing. Make sure to actually focus on listening to what the girl is saying to you, rather than just waiting to respond like most people do - it'll make for more dynamic conversations, and works in life generally.

Keep the faith and keep working hard. I promise you'll start getting results if you keep at it!

ThatBoyAgain · 2016-12-24T09:33:17+00:00

The fact that you opened her AND she was responsive to you means you already won!

I have been in similar situations being too up in your head, one thing I have incorporated is having three things to focus on each night out. Like last night I put down on my phone's lock screen (android has this feature called 'Owner Info' in Lock Screen settings which is pretty neat) 'Talk louder, Open the first set ASAP & Strong eye contact'

Guess what, since i just focused on three mere things I was much less in my head and I didn't pressure myself or set the standard of closing anything (I am still at the beginner step so I am trying to gather as much XP as possible).

Nonetheless great post; inspired me a lot!

Title	My first approach (terrible)
Author	Hank2121
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	December 23, 2016 5:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5jya86/my_first_approach_terrible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-first-approach-terrible.1417524 https://theredarchive.com/post/1417524

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