I've never really been able to make friends and hold solid relationships with other people. Yea I can hold an interesting conversation when I first meet someone, than It kinda fizzles out and we're left there awkwardly observing our surroundings looking for something to say. This has been the case my entire life and I'm getting sick of it.

This weekend I went on my first date ever, it was literally the first time I've been one on one with a girl in my entire life. She liked me on tinder, from her pictures I'd say she was a 7-8 but when I seen her irl she was easily 9-10, which is crazy before this summer I wouldn't have even rated myself a 5 let alone going on dates with 10s...

Anyways I pick her up, she lives about 50 minutes away so it was kinda a long awkward car ride back to my place. We get there and I didn't really have anything planned because this happened so quickly and I have very little experience with these types of events. So we walk around my yard show her my pets and my belongings and decide to go for a ride on my parents quad. On the ride I slow down and ask if she's cold and if she wants my sweater, she says no she's fine. She wraps her legs around me and I'm instantly hard no joke. We stop by the river and sit on a fallen down tree and talk about life for a while while we observe the sunset. She talks about her exs for a bit and I of course have nothing to add to that so she asks me if I've ever been in a relationship (shit test #1.) I awkwardly pause and think about lying, I remember my friend from work and how he always knows when I'm lying so I decide not to since I'm shit at lying. She gives me a puzzled look and asks why you are such a cute guy. I awkwardly look at the ground and have no witty response. It gets awkward and she's on her phone. She gets a FaceTime from her best friend saying she's near, her friend asks her if she wants to get food. She asks me if it's alright if she flakes. I awkwardly agree. We get on the quad and drive back to my place I stop again and ask her if she's cold it's significantly colder than the first time I asked, yet again she declines and yet again wraps her legs around me. I know this is my last chance to make something out of this experience so I awkwardly grab her thigh and calf I've never been so hard (considering I was like 8-9 days NoFap.) We get back home and wait for her friend, we talk more, she says she was expecting me to be taller from my pictures ( shit test #2.) Yet again no witty response. It gets awkward once again. She then asks me why I've never had a gf, I state I've never really tried and the opportunity has never arose. Then she asks me something I found rather funny, she's straight up asks me if I'm gay (shit test #3.) I just laugh and say no. Her friends arrive and she walks up to me for a hug, she says "I'll leave you with this at least" and kisses my face 3 or 4 times working her way to my lips and gives me my first kiss ever. She says something as she's walking out the door but I was totally out of it I could not hear a word she said I was in total shock.

So yea that was my first experience with a girl which happened two days ago, still don't know to view this as a success or failure yet, I guess time will tell.

Edit: I'm 19 btw/grammar