I've been on five first dates recently and gotten ghosted after each and every one. I have read all of the advice on this sub many times over, and yet I've gotten nowhere. It feels like every girl I've seen is envisioning the perfect date in her mind and if I don't deliver, I don't get a second chance. What exactly is the girl expecting?

Here are some issues I've been mulling over:

  1. Conversation - I simply do what I do during my pickups, but for some reason that doesn't seem to work on the actual date. Why is this?
  2. Kissing - 3/5 of the above girls I kissed, seems to have made no difference. Everyone makes a big deal about how terrible the "end of the date kiss" is, so I've avoided it. Does not seem to be a good strategy. I am not an experienced kisser - I had not kissed any girls up to this year but have kissed about a dozen in the last 6 months. Tell me, is this actually a good kissing strategy?
  3. Venue changes. I have no car, so this is difficult. Congratulations to all of you players who own condos on the beach next to a bowling alley, a microbrewery, a go kart track, and a 4-star sushi joint. My apartment is 3 blocks from a span of a couple decent bars and restaurants, but nothing particularly exciting. I live near a zoo, but it closes at 6 on weekdays. I'm a 15 minute walk from a pretty hip neighborhood with more choices, but it's winter and fairly cold out, making a transition back to my place much more difficult.
  4. Everyone says to do weekday dates, but it seems like this leads to a limited time frame. I know you're going to say "if the girl likes you she'll want to stay" - but will a girl who has work the next day really stay out until 11 and then go home with you on the first date? How often does this happen to you guys?

I have another date tomorrow with a girl who actually lives right across the street from me. I met her in a bar. Hit on her friend first, who introduced me to the group, where I met the girl I'm going on the date with. I talked with the group for a while but eventually it ended up being me her 1-on-1 for about 45 minutes. She eventually had to leave but I got her number and she's been pretty responsive texting. My current plan is: wine bar > pool hall > karaoke > liquor store > my place? The transition to the liquor store and my place will be difficult I feel, because they're a 15 minute walk from where we'll be going out. Like I said, she does live across the street from me so we'll be going that way at the end anyway, but it'll be late and I feel like she'll feel a lot of pressure to call it a night.

I feel like whenever threads like this come up everyone here just cops out and says fluffy crap like "be yourself, see more girls, go on more dates etc. etc." This does not help you when you apparently suck at first dates. Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. I need some idea for how to improve my dates, otherwise I am just swinging blindly here.