Need advice

Dprofessionalgy · 2019-06-11T03:22:59+00:00

This usually happens when you are not confident with your own skin (less self confidence) Try having fun. Practice this if you wanna improve:- 1) When you walk from home to work/study, try making eye-contact with strangers, this would boost your confidence. 2) After you feel that you are confident enough, start complimenting random people on the first thing you notice about them, some will ignore but most of them will at least thank you. 3) Try taking cold showers everyday (Cranked up to the coldest setting) this would put you out of comfort zone. Do this when you are experiencing problem in step1,2.

Pokemastra · 2019-06-11T04:14:19+00:00

You're not confident in yourself and then you overthink the interaction. If you're approaching girls, don't put them on a pedestal but also don't think of them as another guy - because they're not. During your interactions, you should be making it fun, conveying confidence, and building tension with her so you build more attraction. Confidence can be conveyed in a number of ways - the way you carry yourself, strong eye contact, you take the lead in the conversation, and you make the uncomfortable look comfortable. Here is a post on approach anxiety: https://tripfallgetuprepeat.home.blog/2019/04/24/the-truth-about-approach-anxiety/

recyclablebanthas · 2019-06-11T05:31:06+00:00

1

When I’m around girls, I often find myself arguing with myself over how to act. I think things like:

just act normal

pretend she’s another guy

don’t act like you are too interested!

you’re not acting interested enough

Think this through. You are basically debating yourself about what you should do. You are peeling yourself away from the actual interaction with the girl, to argue with yourself and beat yourself up for what you're doing or trying to figure out what she wants.

It's ironic. The source of information regarding what to do or what she wants, is right in front of you. It's her. It's not in your head. You're not going to come up with the best course of action through internal debate with yourself. Social interactions depend on that back and forth with the other person.

You transmit something and she receives it.
She transmits back and in a perfect world, you're receiving.
Having received, you transmit again, rinse and repeat.

If you're sitting there arguing with yourself, you're turning the receiver off to have that internal debate. Those negative voices are fucking you over by keeping you away from the one source of information that would resolve all their fears in the first place! The fix is to push your focus out of your head when you're out in public. Focus on information gathering because information is power. That's the first step.

2

The last two are the biggest. When I’m attracted to a girl, I desire to be near her, talk to her, engage with her, demonstrate my interest and desire for her, etc. but at the same time knowing that this isn’t how I would act around someone else (i.e showing so much interest). It feels like I’m going against what my body is pulling me to do, which is just start interacting and acting like I like this stranger, but at the same time I feel like that’s not how I would act around someone else so it would come off as overbearing or weird. What do you guys think?

The issue here is that if you go into an interaction with a girl being too desperate for a particular outcome, then you're going to scare the girl away.

There's no quick fix. You have to build good friendships for yourself. You have to build confidence by setting a course in life for yourself that you can be proud of, and challenging yourself.

You have to get to a point where you create enough of a social life for yourself that you're comfortable stepping away at times to go

ohharsen · 2019-06-11T19:21:38+00:00

Change the girl. All kind of advises will make you overthink even more. If you're not natural with a girl than that is not the right girl for you. And if you gain experience with interacting with a lot of girls of your type, eventually you will grow and may become the type for everyone. But for the beginning, exploration over exploitation.

Title	Need advice
Author	moomoocowbrow
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	June 11, 2019 3:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bz7818/need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-advice.1471118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1471118

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