Not sure if seddit is the right place. But inner game, in a way, is what I need. I'm currently laying here awake, and fucking miserable. And I know it's all my own doing. I'm trying to do what I know is right, but God damn is it hard.

Quick back story. I'm 29, a year out of my first real relationship. This relationship was also the first real interest I ever received from a girl that made it longer than 2 weeks.

Within a month of talking to her, I moved 2 states away, gave up my life, job, and family, and basically destroyed any and all support that I had spent my life making.

Over the course of our two year relationship I completely destroyed any inner game and outter game that I had. And after realizing I was destroying myself for her, broke it off, moved back home, only to develop crippling oneitis.

I've slept with a few random desperate girls that just so happened to be in the same or worse mental state that I've been in. And if anything I was only carried by my pretty face, that's it. And made things worse.

I'm miserable, my inner game is at an all time low, and no matter what I seem to do I keep ending up in this place where I miss her, and it ruins me.

I don't care about fucking a random girl right now, or finding the right girl or any girl. I only truly care about becoming my own friend again. The guy who used to have values, and beliefs that he stood by, and took care of himself. I'm tired of looking for someone to help me up. Or validate my existence.

So here I am, at a pretty fucking bad low right now. I can't read one more self help book, or think about this anymore.

So in a weird way, I'm kinda asking if anyone could give me an idea on how to actually stop doing destructive shit. And just DO and focus on one fucking thing without letting outside factors I can't control put me in a crippling place?

I don't want it all, right now I don't deserve it all. I just want to know how to get out of this shithole mentality and focus on one simple task to completion.

Any tips?

And thank you for letting me get this off my chest.