Need some smalltalk tips

lofiharvest · 2016-03-07T15:23:48+00:00

Its really not so much what you say but rather how you say it and the confidence you project. I always joke with my friends that the best pickup line 'Hello my name is...' Always try to have a little more energy than what's average in the room. As far as small talk starting off with basic topics like school, work,hobbies family, dreams, guessing their heritage are staples. Try opening with statements about Universal or interesting current events 'That was a really awesome Kendrick Lamar performance at the Grammy's last night. Did you catch it?' Practice conversational threading. Example the girl says 'I loved going to art class when I was a child'. Look at the four major threading points

LOVED - You can talk about something you love.
ART- Talk about art
CLASS - Tell a funny story about a class you took
CHILD - You can talk about something from your childhood.

I used to be one of those people that used to regularly say 'I hate small talk'. However I have now come to view the conversation as a chess game. Small talk is the opening. More detailed specifics about the person is the middle game. And the heart to heart stuff is the endgame. Most people want to skip ahead right to the end, but thats just weird. If some random person walked up to you and immediately started telling you something extremely vulnerable or personal, you would most likely be put off.

Some more tips.

-Always bring value to the conversation.
-Use combination of statements and questions.
-Don't talk too much about yourself.
-Make the person feel like they are the most important person in your world.
-Maintain eye contact.
-Repeat or ask for clarification on things they said.
-And for god sakes learn to become a good genuine listener!

Good luck :)

openingceremony · 2016-03-07T17:59:15+00:00

Learn to listen and learn to 'chain' conversations so you never run out of things to talk about, here's a sample conversation from Saturday.

I walk up to the bar waiting to get the barttenders attention, a girl is sitting at the bar and asks me if I want to take a look at the menu, I politely decline, I probably should've accepted but I was waiting on a friend who was late so was kind of annoyed.

Anyway, a few seconds later I notice she's looking at her beer bottle in a curious manner and I ask her what's she's drinking, here's the exchange, some words may be incorrect but I drunk a lot that night give me a break.

"What are you drinking?"

"Oh, some <brand of beer>, I think its a saison (type of beer)"

"A what? You know a lot about beer" (In retrospect I actually do know what this beer is but it took me a moment to relize)

"Oh not really I used to be a bartender"

At this point she's told me something about herself and I can use this to chain the conversation in many ways, I could ask her about alcohol, or I could ask her about her experience bartending which will lead into other paths that our conversation can take.

"Oh, really? Where did you bartend?"

"In New York"

She's told me another thing about her, she's from NYC, but now on the west coast, I could ask her why she's over here, I can also mention that I'm from New York, etc. So now we have 4 or 5 different subjects we can talk about and she's already opened up to me twice so you know she feels comfortable.

We chatted a bit for a while until my friend came and we separated, I told her it was nice to meet her and then we went our separate ways, when she left she came up to me personally and said good by and that it was nice to meet me.

As you can see this was a very simple approach, use your surroundings to notice things about the atmosphere to comment on, use your eyes and notice things about her: what is she wearing, what is she drinking, does she have on any unique jewelry, hairstyle, etc? From there you can open and if you ask the right questions she will GIVE you the information you need to seduce her properly. From there its all up to you.

DaygameCoach · 2016-03-07T14:04:16+00:00

I don't use the phrase "small talk." It's just part of the conversation and I don't think of any of my talk as small.

Try common topics like travel, food, chick flicks/tv, pets, adventure sports, etc.

You can study improv.

Ricardo2991 · 2016-03-07T22:00:28+00:00

There are some good comments already. I'll add that weather is the easiest small talk to engage in. You can talk about past/current/future... Start practicing small talk with everyone. Old, young, male, female. Small talk is a transitive skill.

Title	Need some smalltalk tips
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	4
Date	March 7, 2016 1:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/49cm2f/need_some_smalltalk_tips/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-some-smalltalk-tips.1403662 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403662

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