Nervous for a date help

ElAlqumista · 2024-11-30T14:55:00+00:00

Go out and enjoy, relax, you can also do something you like, workout a bit, socialize with people around you and the anxiety should drop down.

You’re just focusing too much on it and that builds up extra pressure.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-11-30T15:12:35+00:00

You have to learn to be okay with rejection. You have to accept the risk of rejection and make peace with that. If you're terrified of rejection, that will cause your anxiety around escalation. Why? Because escalation increases risk of rejection. If you try to kiss her, she might say "ew, I don't like you that way" - rejecting you.

It's a mental shift from "I can't fuck it up, I MUST succeed with THIS girl", to "I'm okay with fucking it up. If she rejects me when I escalate, that's just part of the game. I will always try to escalate with women I like, and accept the rejection percentage that inevitably comes with that"

BE OKAY WITH REJECTION!

weaster43 · 2024-11-30T19:05:19+00:00

It’s great that you‘re going out on dates even if your anxiety is trying to hold you back.

It’s completely normal to be anxious, especially when you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone. The goal isn’t to get rid of it, but to manage it in a way so it doesn‘t control you.

Instead of seeing the date as a test you could fail, try seeing it as a fun opportunity to connect with someone new. Remember, she agreed to meet because she’s interested in you, so the pressure you’re feeling is much higher in your head than in reality. Chances are she‘s also anxious about meeting you.

My suggestions is to channel that fear into excitement. Before the date, do something that hypes you up: listen to your favorite music, take a walk, do something physical to release some of that tension, or take a sip of an energy drink.

When it comes to kissing or escalating, don’t overthink it. Focus on reading the vibe rather than obsessing over the perfect timing. If you two are hitting it off great, then start by light touching (e.g. to highlight certain parts of your story). If she’s receptive (touches you back, or doesn’t move away) then continue with longer touches and so on. And if the moment feels right, lean in slowly. If she’s into it, she’ll meet you halfway, if not, that‘s okay too.

If things don’t go exactly how you’d like, don’t beat yourself up. You’re learning and growing, and every experience (even the awkward ones) helps you get better. Remember, you’re not the only one who gets nervous, it‘s part of the process.

Far-Sir1362 · 2024-11-30T16:01:34+00:00

It's okay to be anxious. You're still young. You have lots of opportunities to screw things up and improve over time. Just go out, do your best, and take the lessons you can from things you do wrong. Assuming she's also your age, she probably won't be judging you that much for things you mess up because she either doesn't know any better or she also screws things up too.

Tldr don't worry, you're not expected to be perfect

DenseResponse6757 · 2024-12-01T15:49:57+00:00

Alcohol

Title	Nervous for a date help
Author	xstrxfee
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	November 30, 2024 2:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1h3e379/nervous_for_a_date_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/nervous-for-a-date-help.1537261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537261

Comments