Some time ago, I wrote a post on this sub in which I expressed my intention to begin an exercise in which I went out and approached women each weekend until I had approached 100, and asked whether it would be acceptable for me to post nightly accounts of such ventures on this sub in order to keep motivated (SelectSelect75 (u/SelectSelect75) - Reddit). All of the commenters expressed that this would be acceptable, so until someone else tells me otherwise, I will continue doing this. The following post comprises account #4.

Context and goals:

Immediately prior to tonight, I received two items of good news, for me. Firstly, the lockdown has not been prolonged. As a result, I’ll be able to go to Sydney for a week – my first holiday in over a year – starting from tomorrow (Sunday). Secondly, I have managed to secure a date via Hinge, scheduled for the first Friday after I get back. As a result of these two developments, I set out in an exceptionally good/optimistic mood during this round. This being said, I have to get up very early to catch my flight on Sunday, and as a result, I can’t stay up late clubbing on Saturday (today). The second of the two Meetups I attended last week, the one where the guy offered to be my wingman, takes place on Saturday, so I’m going to have to miss that one. Instead, I had to go to the one I usually go to, the one where most people are older than me, on Friday (yesterday). But that’s a price to pay for a holiday, so I worked with what I had. Again, my goals for the time being haven’t really evolved beyond approaching 1 – 3 women and trying to have higher quality conversations with them when I do. This round took place at a “retro” (70s) dance club.

Account:

Turnout tonight was initially small, and all the women there were either too old, ones I had already failed to get the numbers of before, or both. Promptly, however, it got much busier, and I was able to do three fairly “archetypical” approaches (i.e… wherein they were alone ordering at the bar, and I approached from the side to say: “Hi, how are you?”, etc.). The first two were alone, the third was a set of two. The conversations I had with the three were, I think, the highest quality conversations I’ve had following any approaches thus far. I was quite good at weaving in the full gamut – jokes (which were successful at making them laugh), flirts, assumptions, challenges/disagreements, kino. I could tell that one of them led an incompatible lifestyle, so I didn’t bother asking for her number even though I reached the point at which I was ready to, but I did ask for those of the other two. No, neither gave them to me, but honestly? I took almost as much pride in asking for them as I would have in having got them. I was pleased with myself for having got this far, so I went out to the dancefloor to have a dance (first time I’ve danced in well over a year), which was fun. By the time I was done it was so loud that it was impossible to talk to anyone further without literally screaming in their ear, so I went home.

Reflection:

Personally, I think that I did exceptionally well tonight, at least considering the stage I’m at. Three solid approaches – of which all three targets were receptive – leading to three solid conversations. Feeling ready to ask for a number on three separate occasions in one night, and actually asking on two, is the furthest I’ve got thus far. No, I haven’t actually gotten a number yet, but I’m definitely getting better at reaching the stage at which I feel ready to ask for one. My social skills are definitely improving. Plus, I’m learning to not merely not feel nervous, but to actually have fun during my rounds now.

Since I’m off to Sydney for a week tomorrow, I might have to skip next week’s report. I might be able to set a night aside to attend a Meetup in Sydney, but my itinerary is absolutely packed, and I might feel too tired by the end of each day for my heart to be in it. Nevertheless, by the time I get back, I should have lots of photographs and stories to share during my convos. After that, of course, is the date I mentioned. I haven’t decided yet whether I should count dates I acquire via dating apps as opposed to approaches in my tally, but I think I will write reports of my dates for feedback regardless.

Overall, however, I believe I’m incrementally moving up in the world.

Tally:

Primary goal: 100 approaches.

Secondary goal: 1 date.

Tertiary goal: 100 immediate rejections.

Approaches: 17.

Immediate rejections: 1.

Conversations: 15.

Phone number rejections: 4.

Phone numbers: 0.

Dates: 0.

Sex: 0.

Relationships: 0.

Breakups: 0.