Some time ago, I wrote a post on this sub in which I expressed my intention to begin an exercise in which I went out and approached women each weekend until I had approached 100, and asked whether it would be acceptable for me to post nightly accounts of such ventures on this sub in order to keep motivated (SelectSelect75 (u/SelectSelect75) - Reddit). All of the commenters expressed that this would be acceptable, so until someone else tells me otherwise, I will continue doing this. The following post comprises account #6.

Context and goals:

I spoke to that dating coach I mentioned in last week’s report (Dating Coach | Core Confidence Coaching | Australia), and am now considering taking one of his courses if I earn sufficient disposable income after I’ve launched the website I’m building and have not gotten anywhere by then. (Please note, I said: “considering”, not: “will”). Also, I’ve bought a ticket for a speed dating session on the 26th. (Only $30 bucks, so this is no biggie). I’ve gone to speed dating sessions before and experienced no results therefrom, but I now know a lot more about how to conduct myself during them than I once did, so if the cost isn’t too high, I might as well try again. Basically, I’m starting to wonder if simply going out to a bar once a week isn’t enough, and that I need to pursue other channels as well.

Tonight’s Meetup was on a Saturday rather than on Friday, hence why this report is a day later than usual. It was a different one from the one I usually attend where the clientele is too old for me; one which is marketed at people in their 20s and 30s, at a bar I’ve never been to before, at a time later than the other one starts at. I elected to go earlier than the time it was scheduled to start so I could try my hand at approaching women without the pretext of a Meetup; ease myself into doing so without immediately going to a bar at which there was no Meetup scheduled at all. I set myself a goal of approaching 3 – 5 women tonight instead of my usual 1 – 3, and was very adamant about approaching the first woman I saw without hesitation.

Account:

The clientele of the bar, to my immense relief, did indeed appear to be much more within my age-range. There were numerous young, attractive women there. I did indeed approach the first woman I saw. Only get this: it turns out she was part of the Meetup herself! I had done this intending to approach a woman who wasn’t in the Meetup, and out of all the women I could have approached, I inadvertently approached the only one there whom had likewise decided to come early like me. Ah, well. At least I had achieved the “approach immediately” part.

I had a great conversation with the woman. I did better tonight than I had ever done before at interweaving jokes, flirts, assumptions, push/pull and kino into the conversation, and at leading her around. She let me kiss her on the cheek, inspect her earrings and fondle her ponytail, and she fondled my own hair too. I asked her to give me three clues as to what her job was for which I would get three guesses as to what it was, and I guessed correctly on the first try. I then gave her three clues as to mine, but she gave up after two guesses. I said that, because she gave up, she had to give me her number… and she gave it to me! (Yes; my first number!).

I sat on the couch with my arm around her for about five minutes, and I really thought that I might be getting somewhere with her, but then she removed my arm and told me that we were “just friends”. (Drat). By then, several other members of the Meetup had arrived, and we both left to mingle. There was a guy there who had offered to be my wing at an earlier Meetup, and I spoke to him to work my way up to asking for his number, but then he broke off to do something else and disappeared without a trace. Ultimately, I approached five other women that night for a total of six (which goes to show how many more women within my range were there compared with the other Meetup), but all such approaches were pretty sloppy. Three rejected me out of hand, and the remainder slinked off fairly quickly. It didn’t help that, by now, the bar was a mosh pit (pretty sure that I touched more breasts just trying to weave my way through to the toilet than I have during all the sex I’ve ever had in my life), the noise was so loud that you had to put your mouth on someone else’s ear and scream in it in order for them to hear you, and that many of the girls there were attending various birthday parties and were devoting their attention to their friends. I realized that I had gotten as far as I was going to get this night, and went home. I texted the first woman a meme about something we’d spoken about, but she didn’t and hasn’t responded, so I’m not going to push things further with her.

Reflection:

Well, first off, clearly this other Meetup offers better prospects in terms of women within my age range. Gotta start prioritizing it over the other one.

Secondly, although I originally thought that I need to start approaching 3 – 5 women a night instead of 1 – 3, I am now reconsidering if that is a good idea. Since, as I stated in my very first account, I have no approach anxiety, but my later approaches tend to be sloppy and not lead anywhere, I am now dubious as to what increasing my number of approaches per night will achieve other than to pointlessly fill up my approach tally. Perhaps I should stick to 1 – 3 and try to have higher quality conversations with them when I do. I do believe that my conversation skills are improving over time.

Thirdly, I cannot do this at noisy, crowded bars. They completely throw me off my game and reduce my approaches to clumsy shouting. I need to find and concentrate on quieter, less crowded bars where I’ve got space to think.

Maybe next week, I should try find and going to such a bar, with no Meetup whatsoever, try approaching just one woman, and see how I go with that.

Tally:

Primary goal: 100 approaches.

Secondary goal: 1 date.

Tertiary goal: 100 immediate rejections.

Approaches: 24.

Immediate rejections: 4.

Conversations: 16.

Phone number rejections: 4.

Phone numbers: 1.

Dates: 0.

Sex: 1.

Relationships: 0.

Breakups: 0.