Not liking second dates. How to solve this?

Alphagreen_97 · 2024-09-11T03:05:27+00:00

So as far as I have understood, you have sex on the first date?

If yes, there you go. You had her. Second that isn't exciting because your ego is satisfied. Doesnt matter if she doesn't give you her ass after that, you know you were good enough to receive it.

If you're truly looking for a long term relationship then you shouldn't look for girls that fuck on first dates anyway. And furthermore, sex shouldn't even be the most important thing. Become a man that would attract the type of girl that is suited for a long term relationship.

To be honest, I'm also still figuring out what kind of girl is suited for that. I don't think there is an easy straightforward answer for that, perhaps there is though, and I just don't know it.

The more I read, the more I think a true Christian girl would be suited for that, or at least a women that hasn't had sex with dozens of guys. But perhaps my opinion is flawed. I would love to argue about that.

intlcrew · 2024-09-11T21:07:41+00:00

What you describe is not an unusual trait.

Have categorized SNL on the first date or encounter into three mindsets (broadly speaking) that women have towards intimacy and sexuality on the first date assuming other elements of game (incl. mutual attraction, value, comfort/trust, qualification,logistics, etc.) have been accomplished perfectly:

Type 1: Sex/Intimacy is "my power over the guy", and needs to be kept stricttly controlled. (Typically their mental maps rationalize this with their logic that (a) giving in too easily will make cause the guy to not value her, (b) her moral code, (c) her anti-slut-defense (e.g., when she stands the risk of being judged by people who know her) or (e) her rulebook of what she thinks are the rules to get a guy to commit to, and keep control of him during, a relationship.

Type 2: In it to enjoy the date, and is horny, the dates escalates into craving sex, or otherwise open to flings with the right guy. If the guy checks some of her boxes of physical attraction, sex will happen if he handles logistics correctly.

Type 3: Looking for deeper commitment, and decides that the guy is a keeper, but is fearful of losing him (eg.,due to competition, distance, or other factors).

Type 4: Go with the flow, and if there is attraction, comfort, value, qualification and logistics, then the intimacy or sex "just happens" with the right guy, and does not with the guy that doesn't clear the bar.

Experience has led to the realization that Type 3 and Type 4 are dependend on how you (the guy) executes on game, but also the chemistry you have and can generate with the girl. Type 2 is mostly dependent on basic game skills (and perhaps logistics). Type 1 girls are mostly in their own minds trying to play a multi-dimensional chess game and using intimacy/sex as a strategic piece to move around to control the game.

In my own case, I've found that almost all of my long term relationships have been with women that I've slept with on the first date or encounter (i.e., Type 2, 3 or 4), and frequently lose interest with girls of Type 1 even before the second date because more often than not, these Type-1 girls are playing mind-games rather than going with the flow of mutual feelings

Would be curious to find out if guys in the community have other types they can add to this categorization, and if the symtoms causing loss of attraction after the first date are similar.

Title	Not liking second dates. How to solve this?
Author	OnlyOVOandXO
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	September 11, 2024 1:43 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fdyqiu/not_liking_second_dates_how_to_solve_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-liking-second-dates-how-to-solve-this.1530028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530028

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