Obsessed

TheXXL · 2019-05-20T21:43:09+00:00

I was like that when I was in my 20's, now I'm in my 40's and looking back I overcame that by concentrating on my own life, my career and getting the confidence I was lacking so much. Do things that make you happy, take up hobbies, travel! and travel alone! this is a huge confidence builder. Talk to strangers, learn how to be fun and open to people, observe how people start to gravitate towards you as you build up what we call charm and charisma.

This is not a short term solution, not even an easy one, but it works if you really go through this process.

BaronBurgers · 2019-05-20T23:08:17+00:00

Alongside building your social skills, I would recommend heavy focus on inner work. These emotions and reactions towards girls are pointing to some inner issues. Hopefully you can use this pain to motivate you to get better. Read some self-improvement books and find what resonates with you and your situation. Let me tell you, this isn't permanent and you can get great with women, even if you feel like you can't right now. Just start moving in that direction bud. I believe in you.

zErh0 · 2019-05-20T23:57:37+00:00

Make yourself great, so great people (and great women) will want to be around you.

Don't worry what the society thinks "is the age to have moments with girls". Worry about what you feel. Approaching women requires self-confidence, and that is built on you believing in your own value, based on what you are, what you do, what you work towards, what you achieve, what you represent as a person.

Girls rarely get excited with the fact that you want them. They're very used to that, it's super common to be desired. What they want is to be desired by someone who is cool, fun to be around, and who in some way "creates social value", be it storytelling, playing guitar, good jokes, anything that makes people feel good.

If you can make them feel good, everything else will follow.

IntoxicatedOrange · 2019-05-21T00:13:54+00:00

I disagree with the other posts here. I'm 28 and have similar issues but I'm focused on improving it. It's not just about confidence and having something worthwhile that you're doing with yourself. It's also about undoing habits and conditioning that you have which prevents you from talking to them. Don't wait! I say do whatever it takes for you to start talking to girls. Take some pressure off by not being hard on yourself if you don't actually game them or you are super awkward or weird. Just make it a goal to regularly say hello and have a short back and forth, just getting yourself in front of them to begin with. You want to break your habit but the most reliable way you're going to do that is by converting your habits in small steps. So starting with saying hi or making random comments to girls as a habit. Once that's a habit, step up to having short conversations that don't necessarily go anywhere. Then step up to showing some sort of intent/attraction in those conversations. Etc. But try to fully internalize it and make it second nature at each step of the way, that is how you will actually solve the problem instead of just temporarily pushing ALL THE WAY through your lack of action and anxiety until you get some results, then get complacent with them. You want the change to be permanent.

Title	Obsessed
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	16
Date	May 20, 2019 8:21 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/br0s14/obsessed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/obsessed.1469319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1469319

Comments