OkCupid Game

2010-12-31T00:00:28+00:00

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Okcupid is one of those topics that most people feel "meh" about and there is some debate if it's even worth it. A lot of people are really sensitive to the stigma of online dating. There's the argument that it's almost impossible to build attraction over an internet/text medium (no chance to kino and so forth). Why game okcupid if you can practice your night game at some bar with "real" women. Most women on okcupid are unattractive. It's a breeding ground for AFCs. And so forth.

I'm of the opinion that this is all pessimistic nonsense. I've been enjoying some huge success with okcupid lately. I get messages daily, and when I message the hottest girls I have a good reply rate.

It is so very possible to build attraction online, it's just that you do it much differently than building attraction irl. If I can feel a strong attraction to a girl online, internet attraction is possible. It's possible because the whole medium is about what you leave to the imagination. It's easy because the very nature is controlled. I'm constantly editing my profile, steadily making it better and better.

Anyways, there's nothing to lose doing it, and you're learning how to build or keep attraction in a different medium. Good skill to have seeing as the online dating stigma is constantly losing power and we spend more of our time with social media. The trend will only continue.

There's two areas of focus on okcupid. Profile and messaging.

Profile - Show, don't tell. Don't say "I have a good sense of humor," SHOWCASE IT. Make her laugh. For example, I like movies. I don't write, "I'm really passionate about movies." I don't just list all the movies I like, no one gives a shit.

I write, "Wall-E makes my heart well up. I will never make a movie as human as The Seven Samurai. Amelie is adorable and I play the soundtrack in my coffeeshop. I want to be Fred Astaire."

Do you see how different that is? I showcase my passion for movies, but I also subtly nest DHVs in every sentence. Do this with everything you say about yourself. If it's boring, consider getting rid of it.

Be different. Be entertaining, but not try-hard. Have fun with it. Notice if a girl's got a great profile and understand why. Notice the cliched ("I don't know what to write soo...") and boring profiles too.

Also, major DHV if you give the impression that girls message you all the time. I have a journal post calling out girls who can't start a convo on okcupid and send messages like, "hey your cute, talk to me." I start off my profile by writing, "Hey, I know that it says that I'm a scorpio and it matters a lot... and it just recently occurred to me that some of you are cute enough to actually take that shit seriously. I didn't actually think anybody did... thought it would be a nice whimsical joke haha ha ha haaaaa it's fun to laugh stop messaging me about it. Ok no more ellipsis."

Note: Only do that if you know you have a replies selectively button.

squigs · 2010-12-31T11:53:27+00:00

I'm communicating with a cute girl right now, but I don't really know where to take it. She says I'm mysterious and it intrigues her, but I don't know how to keep it that way over the internet without turning her off.

You need to take it off OKCupid. IM or actually meeting up. Never leave this too long.

gentlemanofleisure · 2010-12-31T00:32:34+00:00

according to okcupids own stats, the average reply rate for guys is between 2 and three in 10. if you are getting that you are doing fine and it's not too hard to do better than that.

send messages ten at a time, you'll always have girls to chat to.

IcarusLives · 2010-12-31T01:27:23+00:00

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fantasticdonuts · 2010-12-31T01:53:12+00:00

For what it is worth, I created a fun, interesting and intriguing profile. I have some fun photos, some photos where I look uninterested in the photographer, all that jazz.

But I felt I needed to change someting up as I wasn't getting a good response. When I added a few more recent, but seemingly less attractive, I started to get more responses. I added one with my Dad in it, which seems to portrays me as more dateability or better boyfriend material, or something.

Since the changes I've started to get many more unsolicited messages.

Just sharing my own experience, although I'm not sure if there's any relevancy for you in it. I'm mostly interested in women 26-35, so that might be why a close family is an attractive trait.

sillyolpun · 2010-12-31T03:32:08+00:00

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youfuckingandroid · 2010-12-31T01:17:02+00:00

I know the most basic avenue is to get her to meet you in person so you can work your magic, but, obviously, many of the girls are pretty hesitant to meet up in person without getting to know you a little bit first.

Here's what you do; have her let you know the next time she's going out with friends, so you can run into her while your out with your friends. You don't have to make it into a big date or anything, just say it would be cool to run into her while out at the bars. Buy her a drink, talk for a while, and be on your way to someplace else. If she's nervous about meeting someone from online, she might appreciate you seeming a little hesitant about it too. Also, she feels in control because she'll have been with her friends and she was able to choose the location. After all of this you can then message her with a: "Hey, it was cool to meet you. We should maybe do lunch sometime." It's a slow progression, but really it's not all that different from dating offline.

2010-12-31T01:29:56+00:00

I've always been of the opinion that online dating reeks of desperation, making it very hard to maintain an "alpha" frame or project an "abundance mentality."

Title	OkCupid Game
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	18
Date	December 30, 2010 10:32 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/etvgp/okcupid_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/okcupid-game.1314080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314080

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