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[–]ITakeYourPhoto22 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Female lurker here. Blah, blah, blah, don't take advice from girls, blah, blah, blah, I don't care.
I lost my virginity at 22 to a guy who is very into seduction. I am a pretty attractive female who was a very late bloomer, and even though I had no problem fooling around with guys (in fact, I was totally cool with fooling around with this guy the first night we met), I was in no rush to lose my virginity just because I didn't want to regret who I lost it to. I didn't need to lose it to a guy I was in love with, just someone who at least cared about me enough to make it a nice experience and wasn't just having sex with me because they needed to get laid. Well, I told this guy that the first night we met, and he seemed to be okay with it. A few weeks later, I decided to give it up to him, partly because I trusted and was comfortable with him and partly because I felt obligated to because he kept making talk about how "sex isn't a big deal" and how much he wanted to fuck me. It hurt a lot, I asked him to stop, and he was a huge jerk about it and got frustrated that he had to stop. I also later learned that he only acted sweet toward me and in essence played me like a fool and just wasn't honest about anything just so he could have sex with me because he literally had nothing better going on. He was basically one of those assholes who give seduction and males in general a bad name, and while I totally recognize that my naivete played a role in this, losing my virginity to him is one of my biggest regrets. It was so humiliating to know I was manipulated and fooled just so he could have sex with just another hot girl. He knew it meant at least something to me, but he didn't care. It was just sex to him, and I was just another girl. If he was honest about his intentions and actions, I never would've lost my virginity to him. Fooled around? Yes, but nothing more.
So my advice? When it's appropriate or the topic comes up, ask the girl why she's holding onto her virginity. She'll probably tell you how she's hoping on losing it and what she wants as far as relationships/sex go (if not, ASK!), and then you can decide if you're the right guy for this. You have to understand that losing one's virginity usually means a lot more to girls than guys, and that she'll probably always remember you and her first time with you, so yeah, there's a lot more pressure on you to figure out why you want to sleep with a virgin and to do the right thing. If you decide to do it, don't be a jerk. Don't lie or pressure or manipulate her just so you can get laid. Be honest about your intentions and realize if you end up taking her virginity, sex is going to be pretty slow and cautious the first few times and that you need to make sure she is okay with everything you're doing. Don't be afraid to escalate with her/fool around (just because she's a virgin doesn't mean she won't be down for other activities), but don't pressure her or make her feel like she's wrong for holding onto her virginity. If she feels comfortable around you and trusts you, she will be much more likely to entertain the idea of giving it up to you. And don't dump the girl after y'all had sex or lead her on after the fact. That's beyond cruel. If you aren't an asshole before, during and after it, she probably won't regret it. Leave her better than you found her, right?
I'm sure I might be missing stuff or probably didn't answer this as well as I should have (sorry, on a tablet), but hopefully that helps you a little.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, hearing your experience sucks - it's why I'm a big proponent about the honesty part of self-improvement in seduction. Assholes are abound, unfortunately, and they pretty much ruin it for everyone
That's generally why if they say they're a virgin, I'm going to be straightforward about my intentions and let them decide if our views align
[–]jrc12345 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is very helpful. I'm sorry to hear about your experience, unfortunately there are many assholes out there.
And yes, I fully agree with the concept of leaving someone better than when you found him/her.
[–]throwawaybeginner 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think virgins definitely have an allure, but I next almost all virgins or try to just be friends with them. I feel like trying to game a virgin is almost malicious since I'm not looking for anything serious and I wouldn't want to do that with her under the pretense of committing and not do it.
[–]ineedasandwich 14 points15 points16 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Porking a virgin is usually a bad idea. Here are the reasons: 1. Their pussies often cant take a dicking. It hurts them and they're not into it 2. They don't know how to have sex. They're awkward and just dont get it 3. They are clingy Because your are their first and they're just another hookup for you 4. They will probably regret it and you dont want to be the guy they regret 5. A lot of times there is a reason they are a virgin. You dont want to find that out 6. They're not a virgin and just lying
The only reason you should take a girls virginity if you are over the age of 20-22 is if you have gone on dates or spent a lot of time with them and want a committed relationship with them. If that is so, go for it
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a guy who has been forced through a Christian education system after being raised by conservative Christians and having been around only christian kids my entire life up until a few months ago:
2, 3, and 4 are MAJOR
Also stuck in the virginity loop at uni because of this. Awesome.
[–]Ahead_of_Game 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you have sex with but are not be committed to a virgin, you're making an enemy.
[–]ashtonmartian3 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
If a virgin is genuinely attracted back, incremental escalation of kino works on virgins the same way it works on non-virgins, but should be done in smaller increments. If she pushes your hand away or tells you to stop, you went too fast.
Building attraction with a virgin does not always take more time. There can come a point where you have escalated kino too far when she isn't fully reciprocating comfort. That is where you back off and start over your escalation. Sometimes, especially with girls raised in an environment with high social control, you can escalate too fast and create a barrier. Trying to break this barrier may cause her to build it up higher and stronger.
The outdated analogy of baseball and sex has been cock blocking guys for years. There are many more "bases" in escalation than 4.
Needless to say, having high levels of self-control, discipline, and seeking past immediate gratification is crucial to avoid trying to steal the "invisible bases" between 1st and 2nd.
tl;dr: Be genuine, escalate kino properly, and know when to back off when she is uncomfortable.
[–]Anivia 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its a little bit judgemental to assume that every virgin (boy or girl) wants to have a LTR. Maybe she just wants to fuck around as well, but havent really gone that far, due to unknown reasons. Same as a guy that is a virgin and learning about the game that has no interest in committing to a girl any time soon
[–]sedditforthewin 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she knows the score go for it, just don't lead her on.
[–]AlexanderThuhGr8 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like this question I hope it gets some attention.
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[–]ITakeYourPhoto22 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jrc12345 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwawaybeginner 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ineedasandwich 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ahead_of_Game 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ashtonmartian3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Anivia 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sedditforthewin 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AlexanderThuhGr8 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link