"Practicing" pickup while attached?

sunn_ · 2012-09-08T20:51:17+00:00

Dick move, kemosabe.

I dare you to tell her, "yeah this is just so I'm not rusty at picking up chicks you know when we're not together anymore".

It's safe to say that you aren't perfectly happy in your relationship or this would not even be a question. If you loved this girl this question would never come up, trust me.

What's probably alright, at least in my book, is meeting men and women with the intention of making friends and introducing them to your GF -ASAP-. But even then, this might make your GF uncomfortable and she'll probably wonder why you've changed so drastically.

forgetitok · 2012-09-08T20:59:57+00:00

Can't you tell her? And allow her to do the same? I used to beg my ex to let me watch him pull other girls... or at least let me in on it and share experiences. Just cos... I dunno, I guess I like knowing that he still got it and the fact that he had all those options but still decided to stay with me would have kinda turned me on. But he never went with it. I dunno why.

So, my advice would be to tell her? Maybe don't make it a regular thing? Just like twice a month? Every fortnight?

Of course, someone could argue that "Why are you interested if you're happy with what you've got and are sure about your future together. Why bother?" I usually answer that with "It's a challenge" and also (more specifically) "I never got to do it cos I got in a relationship when I was so young and would like to learn". But you surely have your own reasons.

Edit: It really all depends on how confident your gf is and how much trust there is in your relationship.

2012-09-09T16:49:01+00:00

Wing for your single friends?

LS_Future · 2012-09-08T22:55:03+00:00

I think it depends a lot on where you're coming from. There's a trend among certain Love Systems students that I've noticed over the years: divorced dudes who were married to a hottie and are now clueless. In my experience, those guys get rusty, but it's not the same thing as when a recovered nerd (e.g. me) has to LEARN game. There's an ease of falling into an old stride that comes from former jocks/frat guys/ cool guys where even if they're rusty, they're still made of strong stuff. They have more or less strong inner game, and their reference points are awesome, so they pick up the techniques and knowledge more quickly than slow studies like me. For those guys, I think it's less relevant to keep your blade honed, as it were.

The late Patrice O'Neal has some great commentary on this.

That whole special is fucking hilarious, but his commentary on women near the end is just terrific. If you can track down Patrice's Black Philip shows from Sirius, do so. The man has uncanny insight into the female mind, especially as it pertains to gettin' it on.

I digress.

One of the great dangers of a relationship is the looming specter of neediness. The knife-juggling-on-a-flaming-unicycle trick of keeping a relationship healthy is to show a woman that you need her without being needy. Insert thy gun in thy mouth now. Neediness dries up the vagina faster than a leaf blower. The truly unfortunate part of that truth is that the best definition I've concocted for love is

n. 1.) the total exchange of priorities.

Mull that over. That's not me telling you how it should be, just how it is.

It seems to me that it's not so much a "dick move" as another poster said, but an essential relationship maneuver to keep your edge HOWEVER YOU CAN. Some guys can ramp up their vibe of preselection by going to a strip club. So be it. Some guys don't need external validation. So be it. For most guys, though, we need the dance. We need to sport fish, as Patrice O'Neal says above. We need to need her for all the reasons that she brings us the sense of completeness and love that made us commit to her in the first place, but for ourselves, for our primal male guts, we need some way to assure ourselves that if she walks away, or if we find ourselves needing to walk away, we are still going to be able to catch fish.

ToShipshape · 2012-09-08T21:14:26+00:00

Do it, just don't do anything. Great for confidence and for staying yourself while in a LTR, both of which will aid in your relationship.

Comes down to you respecting boundaries though.

Michael_Cassio · 2012-09-08T21:16:46+00:00

Do it. If you REALLY want to practice your game, instead of trying to escalate, try forming a solid social circle.

It still has a challenge, it still offers something to do AND it shouldn't get you in trouble.

Yelling_Fat_Man · 2012-09-08T20:48:08+00:00

I guess if it is catch and release only.

Title	"Practicing" pickup while attached?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	September 8, 2012 8:31 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/zkjlq/practicing_pickup_while_attached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/practicing-pickup-while-attached.1338873 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338873

Comments