So I've noticed something, call it a hole in my game, is it possible to provide too much good feeling to the point she's satisfied with the attention you're giving, and therefore doesn't want to meet up with you? Because she says to herself, and rationalizes with her emotions:

Why make the effort to meet up with this guy elsewhere if I can get my fill of good feelings here?

And us as men know, we don't just want to flirt with girls, sure, flirting with hundreds of girls is validating, but what we want is sex. That's the achievement we all strive for, not flirting.

This for me is specifically with girls in social circle, where I spend time with them because I happen to be around them, then when I set meets for them, they flake, I do everything right for the ask, they just... flake, almost all the time. By doing everything right I mean:

  • Not hesitating to meet set, when I think I like a girl, and she's being receptive, I'll meet set
  • Asking for the meet on a high note; e.g. she's laughing and obviously enjoying talking to me

What I'm getting at is, I'm meet setting by the book, not blindly asking girls on dates and getting "I'll let you knows", lots of times on the spot, I'm persistent when she intends to leave, and really iron it out to be a simple process, and almost all the logistics are set. And she emphatically says OK, or yes, and sometimes even "promises", but breaks the promise.

My question is, now that I've recognized this hole, what can I do to prevent this attention I give, I happen to be around them, and you know... be social. I don't crack jokes a mile a minute, and usually when we're a little isolated I'll start to get physically closer and build a connection a little, have her tell me about deep threads she rarely talks about.

Any tips, other than complete ignorance? Because quite frankly it's socially immature and novice to do that to anyone, even if you're cutting her off, that doesn't mean never talking again if she's social circle. Some things I think are decent off the top of my head that make sense:

  • Stop having great conversation with her; e.g. don't rapport build, tease, flirt, etc.
  • Stop giving her so much physicality
  • Just be chill and not put any effort into the interaction anymore unless she is down to meet

Because the revelation I'm trying to communicate here; e.g. TLDR:

Don't overprovide girls with attention and good feelings, otherwise she'll see a reason to keep it coming, and not risk rejection, which happens to be a risk if you go out with her, her fully knowing what you're going to do with the way you vibe with her.

So as a solution, from my skill set with girls, which isn't advanced, but approaching mid-intermediate:

  • Cut contact if the number's not meeting within a week, or if she's not rescheduling for you. Otherwise next her and move on after three flakes, even if she gets sad that you cut her off, she has to be the one initiating the meet, and it has to be conducive to seduction, even then you can still not accept
  • Cut contact if she's playing any stupid games; e.g. waiting three days to respond, playing impossible to get
  • Make your texts to the point, and don't give her much attention over them, wait a few hours to respond, and only text with the intent of meeting up.

Just looking for constructive criticism and tips you guys have in mind to help, because I need to patch this up, and some of you probably do too!