Approaching is the core of seduction - all the theory and inner game and self-mastery is good and all, but at some point, you gotta get out in the field and actually make approaches.

Lately, I feel like there has been too much emphasis placed of quantity on approaches and less on quality of approaches.

Paraphrasing, but I feel like the advice given to many beginners is to approach as much as possible. I feel like this can be discouraging early on, especially when you consider how many approaches end up going nowhere. Some people go so far as to make “number of approaches” the goal, saying they need to do 5 approaches a night or 50 a month or they’ve failed.

I personally preferred a more tailored approach; a smaller number of high-effort approaches in a favorable environment, rather than just turning it into just a box-checking exercise.

Except for the best of the best, most of us are still probably going to hear “no” more often than we hear “yes”. I think there’s value in tailoring your approach to maximize the ratio of “yes” to “no”, even if it means overall volume of approaches is lower.

Rather just going to a different club or bar every weekend and trying to hit your numbers, why not go somewhere that matches your vibe better?

If you’re an avid gymgoer, join a workout class and ask someone there. If you are a professional/corporate type, conferences are great opportunities. If you’re a traveler, join a travel club. If you’re in a fandom, a convention is a great place to meet likeminded people.

While the overall pool is smaller, the odds are a lot better. Even more so if you are “pre-qualified” within that group - where your reputation precedes you in advance of a meeting.

In short, I think the community has been placing too much emphasis on the quantity of approaches rather than the quality of the approaches.