Really angry on myself

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-08-10T21:49:27+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)

Important_Tip_6181 · 2025-08-10T18:21:04+00:00

At least you thought about doing it, rather than not at all. Don't shame yourself so harshly. Think about what someone you care about would tell you. They would say, "Hey it's alright, you got it next time!" And run with that.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-08-10T20:20:44+00:00

Talk to people (friends, family members, stranger guys) before you cold approach. By doing that it would put you in the zone of being relaxed and somewhat chatty. It’s basically a warm-up.

Playful_Dot_537 · 2025-08-10T18:30:14+00:00

Every time you see someone just try to get out of your head and get a little closer to an approach.

Your only goal should be a simple connection. "Hey, how is your day going?" And then you can smile and LEAVE.

There's no wedding rings or condoms involved. So take the pressure off yourself.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-08-10T20:25:12+00:00

As a dating coach i know this happens to some of my clients usually because some of the following reasons:

1 - You don't have the full conviction that cold approaching is right or desirable for women or acceptable by society standards. So there is a dissonance between your insticts and your need to follow social norms to fit in.

2 - You are afraid about looking dumb and inadequate, which triggers your inferiority complex, as she may see that you can't even have a conversation as you run out of thigns to say.

3 - You are afraid women will react badly even if you tell yourself that the worst she can say is no, because there are indeed worst things that a woman can do or say than simply telling you no.

4 - You are afriad of being humilliated, having women laughed at you or being scolded or reprimanded for approaching a woman.

5 - You don't feel you are good enough, that maybe you don't deserve a woman like her and that if you go there, you will get confirmation that you weren't good enough and you'd rather avoid getting that confirmation becuase that would mess with your self-esteem.

Any of these usuallt triggers your fight or flight mechanism because you feel stressed and overwhelmed in the situation, due to how little control you have over the outcome. The lack of emotional safety net and guarantees, just feels to risky, so your body protects you from even trying because that way you are safe from having to face all those things mentioned in that list.

To overcome this, you need social skills to deal with negative reactions from women gracefully, you need social skills to reduce the lielyhood of a bad reaction to the bare minimum, you also need to do the internal inner game work to fix your feelings of not being good enough and stop taking yourself so seriossly and to learn to be ok with going against social norms.

Title	Really angry on myself
Author	Numerous_Royal_5475
Upvotes	7
Comments	16
Date	August 10, 2025 6:16 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mmprh8/really_angry_on_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/really-angry-on-myself.1559301 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559301

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