So I finally had my first tinder date ever. It was very interesting and it gave a lot of insight into myself and what my weak points are.

Before the date I was super nervous. Like heart pumping anxious to the point I had chest pains.

Finally the time comes to meet her at out agreed upon location, I nut up and begin my walk to meet her, approximately 10 minutes away from apartment.

I meet her, I don't go in for a hug or even a handshake, I kind of froze, got close to her and we just began walking. Fuck. Whatever, let's move on.

So we start talking, I can already feel an air of awkwardness but that's to be expected when first meeting someone.

So I start asking her some basic questions to get the conversation flowing, and it's going alright.

The problem is her English is not the greatest, so I have to pick and choose what I say and keep it very basic which becomes a chore pretty fast, but whatever.

So on our walk to the coffee shop we have spurts of cold and hot conversation. Sometimes it dies out and it's completely silent and I have to find a way to pick it up with a basic question.

I admit I'm not the best at conversing with people when I first meet them, which is something I'm really trying hard to improve.

With people I know I'm a great conversationalist, but in this case I don't know if it's a lack of my social skills or just the language barrier that's making it difficult and boring for me so making a connection is super hard.

Anyway, we chill at the coffee shop for a bit, she tells me she has weed and wants to smoke it, which is kind of surprising to me, since she's an asian girl here on a visa and I figured she was kind of nerdy, but yeah..

We go back to my apartment and I roll up a joint for her and I to smoke, I haven't smoked in quite a while so I take it easy with just a few puffs.

I'm feeling a bit more relaxed at this point, we stumble some more awkward language barrierd conversation than I start thinking of what we can do next.

We're high, in our apartment with our conversation dried out so I suggest we watch a movie.

We flick through Netflix a bit and decide on the movie Scarface, she's never seen it before.

Now in my mind I'm thinking. "Alright, you're both high, she's at your apartment, and you're putting on a movie, let's make something happen"

Well boys, I completely fucked up.

I'm laying on the big couch and she's on the single couch. After 20 minutes of watching the movie I know I have to at least do something so I tell her to come sit on the big couch.

She says "Why is it better view?" and comes and sits down on the other side of the large couch.

For the next hour or so, I'm completely frozen, don't attempt to make any moves, bored out of my fucking mind watching a movie I've seen a million times, and I have a feeling she was completely bored too.

Thank fucking god the movie finishes, at this point I'm so bored and tired of watching the movie, but I was too pussy to

a) Make a move

b) Turn off the movie and do something else

so I deserve to sit through that bullshit.

Anyway, after the movie finishes in my mind I know I fucked up and there's not much that's going to be happening from here on out.

So we get our stuff, grab a bite to eat, say our goodbyes and she texts me saying she had a good time.

I was super proud of myself that I pushed out my comfort zone and actually went out on a date, but at the same time I had a lot of guilt and anger that I didn't at least attempt to do anything because of my fear of rejection.

Anyway, I had to get it off my chest, any advice, tips and reading material is appreciated. Thanks for listening.