Rejecting Girls

ammonthenephite · 2016-03-27T06:26:25+00:00

From my limited experience, people get upset about rejection when they feel they've been deceived or lead on (regardless of whether they actually have been deceived or lead on). This can happen if you aren't clear about what you want up front (giving signs you are in to a person if you haven't decided yet that you are, throwing off signs you are looking for a relationship but really you only want something physical, etc), or if you keep advancing things knowing that what they want isn't what you want (they want something more serious but you don't, but you advance things knowing this anyways for whatever reason, etc).

So, if you don't know if you are in to a girl or guy, yet you hold hands with them (something most people would interpret as meaning you are in to them) and then you suddenly cut them off or verbally say you don't click with them after your body language and actions did say you clicked with them, then you are going to get some kick back, because you sent mixed messages and from their perspective you 'lead them on' or 'deceived them' about your 'real intentions'.

My advice would be that if you are only looking for a physical relationship, make that very clear up front. If you perceive that they want more than that but you don't, cut it off and tell them why.

I'd also not recommend escalating things with a girl or guy you aren't sure about yet IF you think they will interpret those advances the wrong way, or if you get the vibe they want something other than what you want. Don't be afraid to date a girl a few times to get a good feel for her before you start communicating you want more, because you may in fact end up not wanting more. There are many ways to flirt that signal you are still 'sizing them up' that don't also communicate 'I click with you and want to escalate'.

Now, there will be times when you think you do want more and then learn more about the person causing you to change your mind. This will result in possible hurt feelings (who likes getting rejected?), but this type of rejection, all though it still sucks, is legit. Its part of the dating game and we all go through it, its the price of admission, so to speak. The other types of rejection that can be avoided by good, honest communication (verbal and non-verbal) suck more because they could have been avoided were it not for the incorrect, premature, or sometimes dishonest verbal and non-verbal communication we sometimes throw out there when we get ahead of ourselves.

Good on you for caring about how what you do affects the feelings of the people you interact with and for wanting to improve in that area.

PM_ME_JJONAHJAMESON · 2016-03-27T02:12:26+00:00

I usually say something along the lines of: You're really nice/cute but i don't feel a connection between us. I haven't had any bad reactions other than them asking why. There's no need to BS them. I understand why your reasoning might upset them though.

Jamesy983 · 2016-03-27T21:12:30+00:00

Ok, I'm going to help you out dude. When you want an easy exit out, say something along these lines:

"Hey, just wanted to give you the heads up that I've been dating someone else and we're going to try to be exclusive. I had a lot of fun talking (or hanging if you hung out with them) with you. Take care."

timbobuddy · 2016-03-27T02:17:06+00:00

Well part of its due to the girls your attracting. If you get needy girls that's gonna happen. You can be the sweet guy and turn them into friends and hang out with them for a couple weeks. You only have to see them a couple times a week and it'll help you learn what signs of what you don't want in a girl. Or you can go cold and just ignore them, you really don't owe them anything.

Throwaway244555 · 2016-03-27T07:46:59+00:00

Just go zero contact, you owe them nothing.

Chadxman · 2016-03-27T03:02:26+00:00

Find quality women you actually want to be around. Sure, you have to put them in a place you used to familiar with but the world is tough. If you cannot adapt to be strong, you won't find a strong partner.

Title	Rejecting Girls
Author	supaTROopa3
Upvotes	22
Comments	13
Date	March 27, 2016 1:01 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4c3qso/rejecting_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/rejecting-girls.1404549 https://theredarchive.com/post/1404549

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