Rules for setting expectations?

NickCali22 · 2012-08-09T16:53:40+00:00

never plan to have a conversation like that, just go with the flow man

beholderseye · 2012-08-09T17:00:00+00:00

Casually talk about previous relationships. See what has bugged her about her exes or why her relationships ended. If she talks bout how her boyfriends never give her enough attention or "always picked his hobbies/friends over me" then run away. It's a good indicator of what her expectations of you would be. You want someone who is happy on her own and doesn't need you to be her lapdog.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-08-09T20:56:30+00:00

There's a time in every relationship when one of the party bring up the exclusivity issue, usually is the less-alpha person, for lack of a better word.

IMO, until someone brings up exclusivity, and both agree on being no exclusivity is expected. I've been on both sides, when I was an AFC I thought that we were exclusive, and when we I realized that we were not, everyone I talked to, male and especially females, my age or older, told me that nobody can be a mind reader.

Of course, don't be that guy who tells everyone I LOVE YOU, no L word unless there's mutually agreed upon exclusivity.

At the end of the day, what is your personality?

zquid · 2012-08-09T22:17:35+00:00

After sex is more or less certain, but before the point of no return has always worked for me. Being honest and saying 'this is just sex, ok?' has never made miss out and the morning after is so much less awkward when she knows what's on the table.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-08-09T23:38:29+00:00

Savoy talks about this issue a lot, under the topic of Relationship Management. Your approach to a seduction sets the woman's expectations for a level of relationship. So for example, if you go for a SNL, you're signaling this isn't an LTR.

paulgualtieri · 2012-08-10T03:53:38+00:00

I say try to avoid the conversation entirely. It's very tough to tell a girl "I want to see you and others also" and have her accept that. But if she wants to assume you're only seeing her, tacitly, that's her business. You didn't lie to her, she just assumed the wrong thing.

I find a lot of them will just assume that and run with the assumption and sometimes ask no questions at all. I've been seeing a girl for 8-9 months under exactly this arrangement, and sleeping with other girls on the side whenever possible.

I wouldn't be surprised if she assumed we were a couple, but I never call her "girlfriend," I seldom hold her hand in public, and I almost never see her on Fri/Sat nights cuz I'm out sarging.

She assumes what she wants and asks no questions thus far. And I've never lied to her.

Title	Rules for setting expectations?
Author	throwsede4
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	August 9, 2012 4:13 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xy11l/rules_for_setting_expectations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/rules-for-setting-expectations.1337023 https://theredarchive.com/post/1337023

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