Running Game... on a man?

baianobranco · 2012-06-14T00:34:29+00:00

I've never been in this situation, so take this with a grain of salt.

First, I think the best option would be to approach him together with your gf. Invite him over and play a drinking game. Try to bring up the subject from there, feel him out and see if he would be open to it.

There are basically 4 real reactions that he is going to give you:

1) Totally lets do this!

2) He will agree, but then back down at the last minute. He then may or may not become awkward towards you guys after this. This more depends on his personality and your relationship with each other. This awkwardness will probably not be permanent.

3) He will say no and feel some awkwardness towards you guys. This may or may not be permanent but is more likely to be permanent than the previous situation.

4) He flat out says No and is very uncomfortable and feels very awkward. This will probably ruin your relationship, or at least change it significantly.

I can be totally wrong about my next point, especially because everyone's sexuality and boundaries are different, but are you 100% ok with this? I personally would love to have a threesome, but the girl girl guy kind of threesome. I have never really fantasized about the guy guy girl kind, although I'm not necessarily saying I wouldn't do it. Is this a mutual idea or is your gf's idea and you are just sort of going along with it?

Squand · 2012-06-14T13:47:48+00:00

You could game this like normal or you could go the direct route.

I don't know what a lot of three some experience would look like. Is that someone who has had 50 of them? 100? But I've had about a half dozen experiences and talked with a lot of people about theirs. Most people see it as a supposedly fun thing they will never do again.

Threesomes come about in different ways. But I have a preference. And that's a gentle build up as opposed to the direct route.

When a couple is like, "Let's all sleep together tonight." I say no. If a girl at a party says, "I want to fuck you and your friend sometime," I say, it's not going to happen. But if we are all friends, and it comes about in what seems/feels like a natural extension of our relationship, then I'm down.

Telegraph that you're okay with this sort of thing. Is your relationship non-monogamous? Get into a conversation about trust and jealousy and talk about how you deal with that in your relationship. (Hopefully it's a non issue and you guys handle it well when it comes up.)

She should be flirty with him, well before hand, and kino him from time to time. This should be done in front of you, and you shouldn't be overly excited, but accepting. Make out with her aggressively in his presence. This is sort of the same way kino works. You want him to feel comfortable being around you two in a sexual manner, and show that he can trust you not to be weird about physicality. (Some guys will take the hint and join in right there. I've never had that happen, but I've had friends have that happen.)

Once the seed is set, invite him over, hang out till super late and offer to let him spend the night. This might take a try or two. If he does spend the night, have the girl tell him it'd be cool if he wanted to sleep in the bed with you two.

Don't make it fancy or overtly sexual, just cuddle for a bit. Girl gauges if he's aroused.

"I'm kind of a cuddle slut, Good Guy Greg, I hope you don't mind?" Puhses into him a little bit. That sort of thing.

If he's starting to feel it, then you escalate. But before it gets really hot and heavy you get super explicit. "Hey look, this is about to go down. I'm cool, my girl is cool. Are you? Because we don't want you to be in a position you're not comfortable with just because we're horny." Lay out the ground rules, tell him what's okay and what isn't. (Maybe everything is okay.) Let him know that he has veto rights. If at any point he wants out, he's not going to be shamed for voicing that.

I don't know of text book answers to gaming a MMF situation. But I can tell you, the above situation is what get's me to mess around with a couple. I like it because it feels natural, and it's explicit with wants and needs.

MMF threesomes are super cool. But there are more options with them than FMF. At least, in my experience. Some guys will want to make out with the guy and the girl, some will want to be with just the girl, and have it be a take turns sort of thing. Or to focus on specific yet separate parts.

Some guys aren't going to want to make out with another guy, but won't mind if the two guys touch. And there is probably a spectrum of male on male touching vulnerability.

Because in our society, a girl can fuck a girl and not be a lesbian. But a guy who fucks a guy, is gay. It's way more stigmatizing. It might be worth while, to let him know, if he's super straight, that a MMF exp. doesn't make him a homosexual. It just makes him cool.

You should all know that there is an ebb and flow to these things, and if one person holds back for a little while, it doesn't mean that they aren't feeling it, it just means it's intense and a break was needed, or it's cool to watch someone make out in real time in real life! That's an exp. to take in. He should be prepped on that too. Threesomes can come with a lot of anxiety. Especially for the girl. It's a lot of pressure to please two guys. Two dicks is intense. Know that erections go up and down, and that's okay.

I've always been really happy with the threesomes I've been in. Most of the time, however, one of the parties was like, "I'm not going to do that again. That was too much." And from anecdotal evidence from the people I've talked with about it, they are all like, yeah 1v1 is the best. Almost everyone prefers that.

But I've also had threesomes that happened on the semi-regular and were just super cool while they lasted.

That said, this could end your relationship. It doesn't sound like it will with the way you're talking about it. But adding more people to the mix is always a major change. Even if it's a one off. If you've never had a threesome. You don't know how you're body or mind is going to react. Seeing your SO get off with another person, is something that's hard to prepare for. I know of two long term living together, fairly healthy relationships, that were obliterated by a single threesome exp. And both stories were just like you guys. They talked about it, thought about it, thought it was something they wanted to do. But then when it happened. It was like, FUCK, can't get this out of my mind.

Are you guys monogamous otherwise?

Last thing I'm going to mention is, sex and sexual acts increases pair bonding. He's going to be closer to you after this experience. If he had a good time. He's probably going to want to do it again. This has lead to trouble for couples in the past.

For me, that's always been sorted out non-verbally. But I'd prefer that to be sorted out verbally. Is this guy allowed to fuck your gf while you're not there now? Is he allowed to call you up and say, "Let's have a threesome again tonight?" Or is it something only you two want to initiate.

A lot of these are post makeoutclub questions to ask/clarify with the guy.

If the risks are worth the possible reward, good luck, have fun, be safe.

psyocal · 2012-06-14T06:06:51+00:00

It doesn’t matter how attractive he thinks your girl is. If he feels awkward about the situation, he won’t want to do it.

Just be honest and open, tell him. There is no way of ‘gaming’ him into doing it. I know that if I was approached by an acquaintance to have a threesome with him and his gf, I would reject the offer. I wouldn’t be offended by it but I would definitely think the guy was into me. But I am probably more close-minded than you.

Maybe give him a “you don’t have to answer now, think about it and I’ll talk to you in a week”

Title	Running Game... on a man?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	June 14, 2012 12:09 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v0r4p/running_game_on_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/running-game-on-a-man.1334108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1334108

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