I noticed something very interesting yesterday.

I was smoking a j with my buddy and his two chick friends. When I got to his place beforehand, I was sober and they were all high. One of the girls kept giving me shit tests and getting really hostile with me and although I thought I was passing the shit tests with my words, my body language was not. I was talking to her with a smile, but it was kind of a nervous smile, I was pecking a bit so what I was saying, regardless of how funny/awesome it was, was incongruent with what I was doing with my body. She had a right to keep throwing shit tests at me.

After smoking, I got really calm (as any smoker does) and my movements slowed down alot, my tonality was much better and I stopped smiling all together. I didn't stop smiling because I was unhappy, I was just calm. Then, I came to the realization that smiling does not equal having fun. If you smile when you truly feel like smiling (because something is funny or you're happy about something) you look like one confident motherfucker. If you smile at everything, what you're really doing is trying to break the tension with your smile and might be really nervous, even though you don't feel it.

Also, I thought about Cajun's tips on movements. I noticed that when my friend would toke or do anything, he would put a lot of attention to that one movement (i.e moving slow and taking his time) so I started doing the same. Moving slower felt alot more relaxing since I didn't feel like I was moving nervously.

At the end of the night, the girl who was previously throwing shit test after shit test at me stopped and became alot more interested and interested in what I had to say. Her friend opened up as well and I could tell she was definitely attracted and interested too.

So, to sum it all up:

-It's not just about what you say, but more importantly, how you say it with your body language

-Don't smile too much, unless it's a genuine smile

-Move slow, like you're underwater

-Give attention to whatever you're doing (if you want to more about this, watch the Beyond Words seminar)

Happy hunting!