This is a failure report. It's not a failure because I got rejected. I didn't. It's a failure because I didn't even try.

I'm still talking to the girl from this FR, whom I lost my virginity to. Being with her gives me the good feels, but there's multiple good reasons not to get too deep into a relationship with her (she has a bit of a drinking problem, it's long distance, and to be superficial, she's average looking--who doesn't want a hot girlfriend?). I thought I could distract myself with other women, and find someone who actually lives in the same city as me.

So I went out alone, met up with a couple of guys I met a few weeks ago while out on the town, drinking buddies basically. All of them are single and looking, but they don't have much game, same as me. The worst-looking of them actually had the best game. One of them is like a douche player stereotype, except he doesn't have the game to back it up. Anyway, we went to my favorite dive bar (where I picked up the girl from the aforementioned FR), and to a club.

I hate loud clubs. But there are so many hot women. Did I hit on them? No. I talked to a lot of women, but they were superficial interactions. I never really pushed for anything more. It's like there was a mental block somewhere. Maybe because I was tired from the night before, or maybe because I was texting with this girl, but whatever it was, it was like all my experience from the field and all the theory just... Vanished. I didn't know what to do after I said hello.

There were plenty of chances, which is what pisses me off. It's not like these women were repulsed by me. Far from it, a lot of them were better than lukewarm, I just didn't know how to take it much further than hello. One of the highlights includes the club's uber slut. I'm not one for slut shaming, because I don't think having lots of sex is bad just cause you're a woman. But this girl had a boyfriend, yet she was groping all the dudes in the club. Clearly desperate for attention, and quite hot, too. I had multiple dudes I didn't even know cheer me on and tell me I should fuck this girl, I had every opportunity to at least get physical, but I didn't. And not because I had any moral qualms over her having a boyfriend; either she was lying, or it was a doomed relationship since she was out alone flirting with every guy in a fifty foot radius.

I saw a cute girl flirting with a couple of really old dudes. She was rather pretty, a flannel shirt tied around her thin waist. I thought "I really should go talk to this girl." Did I? Nope. I saw another cute girl I really wanted to talk to. She was taking a Hiroshima shot and wincing, so I asked her why she bought it if she didn't like it. That was it; she responded, and I couldn't hear quite what she said. I should have moved closer and had her say it in my ear, which is honestly a really good way to get close in a club environment. I didn't. And even if I did, I would have no idea what to do to follow up.

The thing is, I'm not completely clueless. I have a bit of experience in field, and I've read more seduction material than any man ever should in his life. Some nights I'm just ON, in state, in flow, and then I can confidently carry a conversation. Last night was a total misfire. She went home with another dude, of course. Why wouldn't she? An attractive girl, and I'm just some guy who didn't have the skills/courage to talk to her.

I don't know exactly what's wrong or how to fix it. Could just have been a bad night, everyone has them, right? I pretty much went out the night before w/ friends, slept, woke up and immediately went on a road trip with my housemates, so maybe I just exhausted my introverted social muscles. Or maybe I'm not taking any risks because I'm starting to get to a point I wanna be. I have friends. I have this girl I know I would've fucked last night if we were in the same city. I'm on the right track.

But I also know this is the time I should speed up, not slow down.

tl;dr: Tried to distract myself from getting too deep into it with a girl by going out and meeting other girls. Instead, ended up completely pussying out, as if all my pua skills had evaporated.

I needed to get that off my chest. Any advice would, of course, be appreciated.